Blog Update

At 80 time constricts and the to-do list grows. Sigh. Moreover, it takes longer to do what needs doing and cognitive aging interferes with productivity. Your likes, comments, and sharing keep me going, but I am not going to post daily.

Meanwhile, for daily tips follow me on Facebook. I have an Emotional Fitness Training page there as well an Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents page.  I try to post helpful articles on these pages as well as some laughs and a bit of inspirational stuff.  Thank you all for your patience and your support. You keep me going.

Need A Safe Place? Create Your Own

                If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden,

                   Frances Hodgson Burnett.         

Creating a safe place in your mind and teaching your child to do the same means finding a garden when needed. A better way to deal with the fears being promoted by so many that seeking physical safe places.  Here’s how to create your personal safe place:

  1. Start with memories from your childhood. When did you feel safest? On your father’s lap? In your mother’s arm? Lucky you; but it might also have been hiding under your bed when your parent’s quarreled. I always felt safe lying under a tree and looking up at the sun filtered by the leaves.
  2. Build on the memories by describing, preferable in writing, a more fanciful and imaginative safe place. Here’s mine: “I am lying on the ground, but the earth beneath me is soft and warm like the feel of my mother’s arms around me, the air is full of her remembered perfume. I am looking up at the sky through the branches of a tree, but also beyond the tree. The sun is shining, the sky is a soft blue, with tints of gold, purple, and pink. I hear the sweet warbling of a bird.  All is peace, beauty, and calm.”
  3. Experiment until you find just the right combination of memories and imaginings.
  4. Once you have created your perfect safe place, start embedding it in your brain. That means finding at least three times a day when you are already feeling calm and safe. Some find one of those times when first waking up in the morning, and a second time at night as waiting to fall asleep. The third time can be anytime or place that you feel calm and safe.  Gradually, go to your safe place when feeling a bit stressed. In time and with practice enough, you will find safety almost everywhere you go, and no matter what you are dealing with.

Going to your safe place is an Emotional Fitness Exercise. All our exercises are best practiced with full awareness. To become more fully aware, before and after an exercise take a Calming Breath, (Breathe in slowly, hold your breath until some tension builds; then breathe out slowly, smile gently and say a silent “Thank You”). 

Share this post if you found it helpful. Every share helps me, you, and those you share with.

Thank you for all you do.


Links of Interest


Hope: A Poem By Carl Sandburg

The more pain, the less hope. What to do? Know that all is change, pleasure ends, pain ends; pleasure returns and then ends again. Here now is all we have with one exception – here now becomes yesterday and a new here now blossoms. Here now is this minute, but now is the next. Hope on.

Thank you for all you do. Practice Kindness and share, comment or like this post. Go here for An introduction to Emotional Fitness Training.


Links Of Interest


Get With Beauty, Strengthen Your Emotional Intelligence

An Emotional Fitness Training Exercise using a Thoreau quote and a picuture of snow by Amy Levine

Dr. K. Anders Ericsson carries the title of world’s leading authority on perfecting skills. Being With Beauty and Thinking About What Matters are skills designed specifically to strengthen your Emotional Intelligence.

Ericsson’s research lead him to two rules: “the ten-year rule” and “the 10,000-hour rule.” He believed it required at least ten years and/or 10,000 hours of practice to achieve perfection in any skill.

Good news: You will not need ten years or 10,000 hours of practice to start taming your mad, bad, or sad feelings. You want to be an emotional fitness star, not an athletic wonder. Emotional Fitness Training. 

Proper Practice Matters Most

Full awareness is key to proper practice. According to Ericsson the amount of practice required is not as important as what he called deliberate practice. One of the things he meant by that was full awareness, what many call mindfulness. If you practice mindlessly and with little awareness, you might as well not practice.

How to achieving full awareness

Adding full awareness is not difficult, moreover, you are already halfway there whenever you take a deep breath to calm yourself. Instead of a deep breath, take a Calming Breath.

Here is how to take not just a deep breath, but a Calming Breath:

  1. Breathe in slowly.

  2. Hold your breath until some tension accumulates.

  3. Breathe out slowly.

  4. As you breathe out. Smile softly and say a silent “Thank you.”

To practice any Emotional Fitness Exercise with full awareness, take a Calming Breath, complete the exercise, and take another Calming Breath before going on with your life. EFT’s Poster Coach when printed up then posted here and there, remind you to take a minute to practice one of EFT’s Twelve Easy Exercises. 

Share this post if you found it helpful

Every share helps me, you, and those you share it with. Comment to tell me if it was not helpful

Thank you all you do.


Links of Interest


How To Be More Emotionally Intelligent

Seek to understand opinions that disagree with yours. Here’s one that takes a more conservation view of immigration. Do you agree or disagree?

This was written by Rosemary LaBonte to the editors of a California newspaper.  She wrote in response to an article written by Ernie Lujan who suggests we should tear down the Statue of Liberty because the immigrants of today aren’t being treated the same as those who passed through Ellis Island and other ports of entry. The paper never printed this response, so her husband sent it out via the internet. Nor could I find it anywhere on the internet which is why I turned it into a post.

Here is her letter:

Dear Editor:

Maybe we should turn to our history books and point out to people like Mr. Lujan why today’s American is not willing to accept this new kind of immigrant any longer.. Back in 1900 when there was a rush from all areas of Europe to come to the United States, people had to get off a ship and stand in a long line in New York and be documented.


 Some would even get down on their hands and knees and kiss the ground. They made a pledge to uphold the laws and support their new country in good and bad times. They made learning English a primary rule in their new American households and some even changed their names to blend in with their new home.

They had waved goodbye to their birthplace to give their children a new life and did everything in their power to help their children assimilate into one culture. Nothing was handed to them. No free lunches, no welfare, no labor laws to protect them. All they had were the skills and craftsmanship they had brought with them to trade for a future of prosperity.

Most of their children came of age when World War II broke out. My father fought alongside men whose parents had come straight over from Germany, Italy, France and Japan. None of these 1st generation Americans ever gave any thought about what country their parents had come from. They were Americans fighting Hitler, Mussolini and the Emperor of Japan. They were defending the United States of America as one people.

When we liberated France, no one in those villages were looking for the French American, the German American or the Irish American. The people of France saw only Americans. And we carried one flag that represented one country. Not one of those immigrant sons would have thought about picking up another country’s flag and waving it to represent who they were. It would have been a disgrace to their parents who had sacrificed so much to be here. These immigrants truly knew what it meant to be an American. They stirred the melting pot into one red, white and blue bowl.


And here we are with a new kind of immigrant who wants the same rights and privileges. Only they want to achieve it playing with a different set of rules, one that includes the entitlement card and a guarantee of being faithful to their mother country.

 I’m sorry, that’s not what being an American is all about. I believe that the immigrants who landed on Ellis Island in the early 1900’s deserve better than that for all the toil, hard work and sacrifice in raising future generations to create a land that has become a beacon for those legally searching for a better life. I think they would be appalled that they are being used as an example by those waving foreign country flags.

And for that suggestion about taking down the Statue of Liberty, it happens to mean a lot to the citizens who are voting on the immigration bill. I wouldn’t start talking about dismantling the United States just yet.

Rosemary LaBonte

Emotional Fitness Tips

Tip one: See opinions as opinions. one person or one group’s ideas about something. 

Tip two: If you agree with an opinion, seek out the opinions of those who do not agree with you

Tip three: If you do not agree with any opinion, seek out the opinions of those who agree with that opinion.

Tip four: Remember opinions are neither facts or proof of facts.

Tip five: Remember facts are few, faux news abundant. Skepticism matters.

Tip six: Test all opinions for logical fallacies. For example, the above is just one person’s opinion: a hasty generalization based on one person’s experience. So is the last picture. 

What about group opinions? Group opinions are often based the Band Wagon Fallacy. Just because lots of people think the same about something is no proof it is based on facts or reality.

Thank You For All You Do

Share this post if you found it helpful. Every share helps me, you, and those you share it with. Comment to tell me if it was not helpful.  

Links of Interest