False Expectations Appearing Real – Tips to Defang Fear

Fear is a signal to be cautious.We are programmed to avoid pain and fear signals the possibility pain will visit.  Some theorists think all behavior stems from pleasure, pain,  or fear of pain. Unmet expectations create pain.  Being more realistic about what we expect of life or others reduces both hurt and fear of hurt. …

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Improve Your Emotional Intelligence: Say What You Must, But Don’t Say It Mean

No matter who you speak for, you will help more if you speak calmly and politely. That means not speaking in anger, but calming down. Calming Breaths help. How to take a Calming Breath: 1. Breathe in slowly to a count of five. It is helpful to tighten all your muscles beginning at your toes …

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Improve Your Emotional Intelligence: Decision Making

Uncertainty about most things opens the mind to alternatives. According the human development expert Jerome Kagan, uncertainty is as strong a motivator as hunger or sex. Too often it is turned into anger, despair, or fear.  Anger if we can find someone to blame. Despair if we blame ourselves. Fear if we cannot resolve it. …

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How To Defeat False Expectations Appearing Real AKA FEAR

  Emotional Fitness Thoughts Think about the above and then think about how it applies to political, religious, racial ranting, even to peaceful protests. We share our fears to dilute them. Helpful when done in small doses and privately with one or two others. Reality check: Everyone wants the comfort of knowing our fears are shared. …

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