A feeling always urges acting. When you stop, think, and agree with the feeling that something needs to be done, you need a game plan. Here’s one.
Even this primitive game plan has merit. How? Four ways.
- It is goal driven.
- Moving rocks is hard work; hard work reduces energy; the energy of mad, bad, sad feelings is what gets you acting too quickly and without a game plan.
- It accomplishes a task of some sort; maybe the cave man is clearing a field, building a wall or a house.
- It seems to have no violent intent. Of course, cave man could be stock piling rocks to hit a neighbor over the head, but lets assume that would only be done in the interest of self-defense.
Three ingredients assure winning game plans:
- Knowing the opposition
- Knowing your strengths and weaknesses
- Developing multiple action options
Knowing the opposition If you have decided you need to act as suggested in this course, you have started this task. You have answered some basic questions this way:
- You can do something, change is within your control
- You can do something within your honor code
- Doing something will be worth your time and effort.
You have also gathered some important information about the feeling that bosses you. You have figured out some clues for when it starts knocking at your brain’s door. you have named it, can measure its growth. Finally, you have some strategies for staying calm so you can think about what to do. You may even have a game plan in mind. Well done.
If you have not done the above, have only popped in and out, or have just found this course go here to catch up.
Knowing your strengths and weaknesses – Use this check list to think about your strengths.
To enhance this list, first add whatever you think is one of your strengths to those on the check list. Then ask one or two friends to circle what they think are your strengths.
Developing action oriented options
Brain storming is a useful way to develop options. Start on your own. Spend ten or fifteen minutes listing any idea about how to better deal with the feeling in question.
Then think about ideas others might suggest. What would your parents, teachers, friends, boss or coworkers, coaches, religious leader or mentors suggest?
Don’t judge any idea as good or bad. The goal is to get as many ideas as possible.
For the best option, test the ones you like against the SMART GOAL format and put it in the form of a game plan. Quick examples:
When sadness visits my game plan is to set a daily activity goal including moving my body, to talk to two friends socially; and to complete two small tasks that I have put off. If I cannot do this I will talk to my Complaint Partner. If the sadness persists and keeps me from doing what I must, over a two week period, I will seek therapy. If I start making plans to harm myself I will call 911 or a hot line.
When anger starts growing my game plan will be to take a time out as soon as possible. As my anger is mostly at work where taking a time out is difficult, I will take a bathroom break as soon as I can, wash my face with cold water, spend a minute or two practicing the OMM and Soft Face. I will OMM when my boss is yelling at me and work to keep a soft but respectful face. I will remind myself yelling does not help things, and not yell back. Instead I will remind myself while OMMing This will pass.” I will use lunch time to do something I enjoy or minimally to take a brisk walk. I will reward my self when the work day is over with a healthy treat. I will keep looking for a different job.
Honor your child’s strength. Use this check list as suggested above.
Remember for children, your necessary criticism muar countered with five feeling loved or respected moments.
POST INSPIRATION: DAILY PROMPT
I often use these prompts to spark my posts. They work to improve critical thinking – the heart of emotional intelligence. You can think about the prompts as stated or use them to spark other thoughts which is what I usually do. If I put on my thinking cap the prompts can be related to Emotional Fitness. Here’s how I did that for this post.
DAILY PROMPT Oil, Meet Water – Of the people who are close to you, who is the person most unlike you? What makes it possible for you to get along?
How this relates to emotional fitness and today’s post: Getting along with those not like matters not only in personal relationships, but across the world if we are to create peace on earth. We need a better game plan than the one used throughout the centuries.
All the handouts and poster coaches for this course are being posted at the store so you can download them for free (Handouts are in Black and White while Poster Coaches are in color.)
Apologies if you cannot find one. I am a Jill of all in this business, so some things take longer than others. If something used here isn’t posted yet, you will find lots of other offerings including inspirational quotes or more EFTI exercises. In time all will be posted.
LINKS OF INTEREST
- Strength based practices (ayscbc.org )
- Brain storming (mindtools.com)
- Mind mapping (en.wikipedia.org)
- Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
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Thank you and work at staying strong until next time,. I work hard to do the same as life is often difficult but staying strong lets me find the good.