Today’s Daily Prompt: Sink or Swim Shame seeks to isolate. Find out what people do not share and you find out what they shames them. Here’s a poster I am currently ashamed of. Can you see why?
The Word Press prompt asked this: Tell us about a time when you were left on your own, to fend for yourself in an overwhelming situation — on the job, at home, at school. What was the outcome?
As noted above, shame isolates and leaves you on your own. My emotional fitness or #EmotionalIntelligence blog post yesterday discussed the shame I have battled most of my life because of dysgraphia, a learning disability connected to putting words on paper or on the internet. When this is your lot in life you have trouble spelling, punctuating, following rules of grammar, and organizing your thoughts. Creates lots of out right criticism as well as silent dismissal of any good that might accompany to the mistakes.
Most with this disorder turn away from writing. Four things kept me persevering: Love of reading which lead to wanting to be a writer, the blessing of good people including many teachers who looked past the errors to the content; an inborn stubbornness, and the advent of word processing and the computer with it’s little read lines helping someone like me spot the majority of my errors.
In my forties my odd life as a therapist turned foster parent made an interesting enough story that two books I wrote were published. “When Good Kids Do Bad Things, A Survival Guide for Parents” and Parents are People Too, An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents. Emotional Fitness was my attempt to better sell #EmotionalFitness. Both the editors of these books stopped being editors during the time they were editing my book. I like to think it was because one of my messages what Remember Your Mission and another Take Care of You. It could also just be that having to deal with my dysgraphia added to other frustrations of editing.
My current mission is to share tips and knowledge about how to get and stay emotionally fit. I think the desire to teach and share came from the teachers who saw my strengths and not my errors. I also had a mother gifted in care giving and that was part of the mix. So I share.
I can hear the more grammatically correct among you saying don’t publish anything until someone else has edited. True, true, true, and probably most true for my newest brain child, Emotional Fitness Training’s Poster Coaches. I feel hampered by two things – one: my advancing age which plays into my being a bit hyperactive and eager to get something published every day, and my lack of funds to pay for help. I do plan to ask David to start perusing my posters in the hopes they will become error free. My eBooks are edited. My blogs are mine alone and although the mistakes are few they crop up.
As I noted in yesterday’s blog shame is kept from ruling your life if you do three things. (1) Check reality to make sure you should not feel shame? Are you doing something unforgiveable? Shame is then appropriate. (2) Practice the OMM as described above. (3) Keep doing what shames wants you to stop.
I post about my weakness and what shame wants me to keep hidden do loosen its hold on me. I call doing so Practicing Imperfection. None of us is perfect, it is not the human path; moreover, when you think about what matters, good enough and almost good that strives to be kind to self and others matters more than any thing the media suggests being.
If you have downloaded a poster coach with an error. Let me know the error, I will correct it and send you a new copy. As soon as I publish this post, I will correct the OMM and keep it as a free-be for the next week.
Remember shame is only useful in keeping you from harming others. Otherwise, smile as often as you can, be grateful, practice kindness, and continue doing what shames says you should not do. Shame is powerful, but can be kept from keeping you from doing all you should be doing for a happier life.
As always, share and care what you find helps you get and stay emotionally strong. I hope if you find my posts of value, you will practice internet kindness liking, rating, commenting, or sharing.
Thank you for all you do and as always work to stay strong, not always easy, but worth while.
Links and articles of interest
- Shame (en.wikipedia.org)
- Dysgraphia (www.ncld.org)
- The Daily Prompt
- Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
- Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (emotionalfitnesstraining.com)
- The EFTI Store (eftistore.com)