Big tip: read the above and do it right.
Emotional Fitness Thoughts
Why do so many find it so hard to apologize when an apology is at the top of the list for healing hurt and maintaining relationships? Two reasons:
Reason one: The pain of being imperfect: fear of being shamed, seen as weak, or making a flaw known.
Reason two: Blind to having hurt another
Emotional Fitness Tips
Tip one: All are flawed. We may be made in God’s image, and maybe God is or was flawed. Sacrilegious? Maybe, maybe not? Who knows. What is known is that humankind is flawed.
Tip two: We think too much about what other people think about us. Most people are too busy thinking about themselves to think much about others.
Tip three: Apologizing is a sign of strength. Thinking otherwise is true weakness.
Tip four: When a person claims a hurt, immediately ask: “What can I do to make things better?” Usually, just asking is enough; when it isn’t do what the person asks if it is reasonable. Not reasonable? Admit, “That’s not possible, what else can I do to make things better.”
Tip five: Learn about Gotcha Wars. Refusing to accept an apology is a battle strategy. Buy my parenting eBook When Good Kids Get You in a Gotcha War. Kids are not the only ones who try to make you the bad guy. It is on special for 79 cents and will help you avoid being wounded.
Tip six: Remember the only road to the good life is to practice kindness as often and anyway you can. Apologies are a bridge on that road that carry you safely across troubled waters.
Thank You for All You Do
Thank me by remembering to share is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting also keep matter as your caring keeps me going.
Katherine
This post was inspired by the Word Press Daily Post Prompt “Awe”
Probably not what the prompter was looking for, but where my wandering mind took me. And the right apology can be awe-inspiring.
I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills. You can do the same.
Not sure how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer? Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has taken others and how other thoughts fuel your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.
LINKS OF INTEREST
These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.
Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)
I agree, Katherine. I liked your tips, poster, and Benjamin Franklin’s advice, “Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”
Thanks for the tips and basically this should be common sense or taught in primary grades!
It can start once a child starts walking using signing and show how. Thank you so much for commenting.
“Why do so many find it so hard to apologize when an apology is at the top of the list for healing hurt and maintaining relationships?” I think you’ve hit on two great reasons — and two more might be that (a) we’re not teaching our children empathy (so they literally cannot imagine that other people have feelings) and (b) we’re unable/unwilling to take responsibility for our actions. Fortunately, the steps you outline can help address all of these root causes.
Right and children can be taught even before they learn to talk by signing and showing them how you do it. Thank you so much for commenting.