Improve Your Emotional Intelligence
Becoming deaf forced me to stop relying on others. Perhaps if I had been born deaf, I would have become part of a deaf community. But my deafness is inherited and came on slowly, but eventually became so bad I was cut off from most other people. Hearing aids helped but even my recent Cochlear Implant leaves me out of any conversation that is not one-on-one and mostly minus background noise.
Not hearing accurately erodes your self-esteem. The same applies to many things, but mainly to any condition that makes you different than the others around you. Think other handicaps, chronic illnesses, aging, but also depending on those around you, think: skin color, appearance, religion, apparent wealth or lack of wealth.
Even sadder, disagreeing or questioning another’s point of view also puts and keeps you outside of the Circle of Caring. Once upon a time, I joined the politically correct movement. However, I resigned a number of years ago. Why? Words that could and should have been ignored were embraced and “awfulized” and viewed as a public attack. Victimhood grew and continues to grow.
What to do?
- Locate who has the problem. When you let other people’s non-violent opinions hurt you, the problem is yours.
- Start using rating scales to measure how seriously you should take someone’s opinion of you. Here’s a five-point rating scale: 5 = threatening violence; 4 = something to think more about; 3 = hurting because I let it hurt me; 2=an opinion only; 1 = not my problem.
- Use positive self-talk slogans to offset the negativity.
- Call an upbeat friend.
- Learn to be alone without being lonely. Meditate; indulge in a healthy pleasure; laugh, play, create; Remember what matters.
SOME FINAL WORDS
Practice kindness by reading, liking, commenting or sharing this post. Watch for the release of my newest eBook. Creating Calm.
These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.
- Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
- The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
- About Emotional Fitness Training (emotionalfitnesstraining.com)