Can’t hate you without hating me

Daily Prompt  #EmotionalIntelligence thoughts about you and me.  Can you figure out the topic from Doug Savage’s cartoon?

#emotionalintelligence blog post about not getting read.

The prompt asked: What is your least favorite personal quality in others? Extra points for sharing your least favorite personal quality in yourself.  

How does the cartoon answer the prompt.? It speaks to the trait we all share that I  I both love and hate. Me-ism – wanting to be the center of people’s regard, wanting to win the gold, to be the star, and at  least for writers and bloggers wanting mega readers.     

The President gave us a good example of me-ism at work when he engaged in taking a selfie ( A picture taken of yourself  to upload on social networking websites) at Nelson Mandela’s memorial service. 

Obama when he spoke at the service, said, “Let us search for his largeness of spirit somewhere inside of ourselves.”

A bit later,  he joined forces with the Danish and British prime ministers for an  group selfie. A photographer caught the three, and his picture of the group selfie went viral probably before the funeral was over.

Defenders say no big problem as it was not a funeral but a celebration of Mandela’s life; the photographer who took the picture noted: “All around me in the stadium, South Africans were dancing, singing and laughing to honour their departed leader. It was more like a carnival atmosphere …”

Others do not agree, and I tend to think the President might have been wiser to declined.  He gave much fodder to his enemies.

At the same time, no one becomes president without a big dose of – me-ism.


Me-isms quest for recognition is a survival need. A baby not seen is a baby in danger of dying.  Sadly, however, when balance is lost, hurt and danger gain strength; the hurt can turn to hate of the other, a desire for revenge, greedy grasping, and power seeking. Almost all the sins of humanity begin in too much  me-ism.  But also all the creativity and goodness in the world starts in me-ism.

As Hillel, a Jewish sage has noted: “If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, then what am I?”

A baby first learns that crying gets attention.  Did you know that a baby’s cries are nature’s ways of torturing an adult into meeting a babies needs? The crying creates discomfort that can only be stopped when the crying stops. Most of us offer the baby gifts thought to comfort and stop crying.  However, when the crying cannot be stopped, some abandon baby temporarily; a few others caught more strongly in me-ism have been known to pummel an infant until he or she can no longer cry.

By the time they are six weeks old, babies have begun smiling when their needs are met. This meets the care giving adults need for recognition and bonds the two together.

An important #EmotionalIntelligence thought: nature early on teaches that giving others recognition takes care of you.  As those who believe in Karma note, “What goes around comes around.”

Back for a minute to the cartoon.  The world is filled with writer’s and artists whose words will go unread and songs unheard.  A brute fact.  I seem to be one who might well remain a basically unread author. How do I cope?  I keep writing for writing is an important source of my joy. When I know one of you has read a post, my joy grows. That happens just enough to keep me writing.

My advice, balance the pleasure you find in pursuing a dream against the very strong possibility others will not see the value in what you offer.  Not always easy, but more tuned to reality than the those who preach anything is possible.

I sometimes rant against the “Just Do It” slogan.  But if doing it gives you joy and happiness, then the slogan holds true.

STAy Strong

Embrace your me-ism, but maintain balance. The best way to keep balance is to tilt the scale toward  mutual good.  The more we meet the needs of others, the more our needs will be met, the more the world tilts toward peace.

As always practice caring, be grateful for what you have been given, forgive yourself and others for failing to be all that is good as you continue to practice kindness and bring forward a more just world for all. 

Thank you for all you do, particularly for sharing and caring EFTI’s ideas on the internet. 




Most EFTI  posters posted on my blog can be obtained at the EFTI Store.  Many are free. Thank you for all you do and as always stay strong.


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