The stronger the opinion, the more likely someone who disagrees will be bludgeoned. Such bludgeoning often leads to what I call Gotcha Wars. Unless you are a Gotcha War Warrior such fights often find you tearing your hair, pounding the wall, or crawling away with your head hanging low.
Even dogs can play a Gotcha War game. My Service Dog, referred to affectionately as “The Punk” used to play a hard and fast game of Gotcha War when off leash at the dog park. When you wanted to put him back on the leash he would run up to you prancing and dancing, but not near enough for you to get the leash on. You could almost hear the little rascal laughing as he dances away. Unlike human Gotcha Warriors, however, he can be bribed with a piece of cheese or doggie treat and now he comes no longer plays that game.
Before The Punk came into our lives, there were our foster children – all 366 of them. For almost fourteen years my husband and I dropped out of the corporate and professional world to become special need foster parents. We offered short-term care, a few days, weeks, and occasionally months, to children and teens in trouble with the law.
In trouble with the law ranged from fire-setting, stealing, assault, nasty fights with parents, running away, or truancy. It follows that most of our foster children hated rules and regulations and many were seasoned Gotcha Warriors. For David and I it was learn to win such wars or go back to the grind of easier jobs. We learned.
If you want to learn more about Gotcha Wars go to this How to Win a Gotcha War Wikihow, or better yet, buy one my eBooks: When Good Kids Get You in a Gotcha War which costs less than a latte, Parents Are People Too, or When Good Kids Do Bad Things. The paperback editions of the last two can be bought for as little as one penny from Amazon or as eBooks.
For now, follow these tips to avoid getting bludgeoned by opinions.
Emotional Fitness Tips
Tip one: Think “maybe” or “what if true” or “what part true” in both sides of a heated discussions. Thinking is the heart of being Emotionally intelligent – fancy words for not letting your feelings lead you down the path to regret. The stronger the opinion the further down that path you the others have traveled.
Tip two: Step away gracefully when faced with someone who holds to an opinion as a matter of life for death.
Tip three: Remember what matters. As an old song suggests “Know when to hold them, when to fold them, and when to let them go. Doing so requires thought and most of the sages and current day researchers suggest kindness matters most. Continued arguing about opinion wins no wars and is not kind.
Thank you for all you do
Remember to share all you find of value on the internet. All who post crave recognition. A like says “Thank You.” Comments say you have read and thought about the post. Sharing is a gift to three people: the blogger, the people you share with, and you for your kindness blesses you.
Stay strong, it takes some effort for life is sometimes a painful struggle.
Post Inspiration: This post was not inspired by the WordPress Daily Prompt: Bludgeon.
Links of Interest
These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.
- Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
- The five components of emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
- About Emotional Fitness Training (emotionalfitnesstraining.com)
- An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents (amazon.com)
Even the most learned researchers and therapists quarrel about much. Take their advice and mine carefully. Don’t just listen to your heart, but also think; don’t just think, listen to your heart. Heart and head working together increase the odds you will find useful advice amid all the promises and hopes pushed at you be others. As others have noted, take what seems useful, leave the rest.
Disclaimer two: Forgive my grammatical errors
If you need perfect posts, you will not find them here; I will understand if you don’t follow, like or share what like me. Not only am I dealing with an aging brain, but all of my life I have been plagued by dysgraphia–a learning disability, Some of my posts might be peppered with bad spelling, poor punctuation, and worse words that make no sense. If you want to hang in with me, thank you; you are kind. If a post doesn’t make sense or bugs you too much, stop reading, I will understand.