My blogging and other posts are colored mostly in blue with occasional sparks of red.  Why: Red and Blue combined make the color purple and combining feeling and thought is the game plan for #emotionalintelligence.

Seek the blending of red and blue that creates peace in your world.

Seek the blending of red and blue, passion and reason,  to create peace in your world and the world of those you care about.

emotional intelligence thoughts about color

Emotional intelligence improves if one is aware of what shapes us, our passions and our thoughts.  Emotional Fitness Training views passion as red and reason as blue.

emotional intelligence tips

A  complex tapestry that makes us who we are.  Many things constantly influence us and each of us is a complex tapestry; some of that tapestry is not ours to control. Therefore, it behooves us to work very hard to control what we can: our beliefs and our behavior.  

Tip one:  Red beliefs fuel passions, particularly the ones that seem to lead to conflict or trouble.  Passions are the stuff of love. hope. desire,  and dreams. Many are harmless or even helpful, but many  send us pursuing all the wrong things.  Red beliefs come equipped with words like want, must have, always, never, I need, you shouldn’t, and  it’s not fair.  Their purpose is to urge action.  

Tip two: Know your blue beliefs. Blue beliefs are weaker than red beliefs and so need bolstering. That is why thinking about what matters as an emotional fitness exercise strengthens emotional intelligence.

Blue beliefs deal with reality, logic ,and reason. their purpose is to restrain harmful impulsive acts and to keep passion from creating problem.  When red feelings get you in trouble, tame them with the aid of your blue beliefs. 

Tip three: When passion says do, thought should always take at least a moment or two to check on everyone’s safety.

Tip four: All behavior should pass through the litmus test of kindness.  Kindness both to the self and others.  Over-eating may feel like kindness to you, but is rarely a good practice.

As for kindness to others it is not always easy to decide, at least when dealing with the world at large. That said, kindness is not difficult when walking the ordinary paths you wander on as you walk through your day.  Start there.

Here is a story by Joann C. Jones, a nurse:

During my second year of nursing school our professor gave us a quiz.  I breezed through the questions until I read the last one:  “What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?”  Surely this was a joke.  I had seen the cleaning woman several times, but how would I know her name?  I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank.  Before the class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our grade.  “Absolutely,” the professor said.  “In your careers, you will meet many people.  All are significant.  They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello.”  I’ve never forgotten that lesson.  I also learned her name was Dorothy.

Stay Strong

Thinking comes naturally, we think constantly.   Don’t agree?  Sit quietly for a minute or two and observe what flashes thought your head.  Thinking clearly so our red beliefs do not lead us astray, does not come so naturally, but is a skill that can be sharpened.

An easy exercise for doing so starts with challenging the media’s efforts to sell you something.  Read up on the most common cognitive errors – false or distorted thinking – here. Pick one at a time and teach yourself to spot that one as you watch TV or read the newspaper or listen to someone speaking passionately.

And always ask if a proposed behavior passes the test of kindness.

For all you do to share and care, thank you.


This post was inspired by a Word Press Daily Post Prompt  Prompt asking for a discussion of colors.

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