This post is about bullying. You cannot stay strong or emotionally healthy if bullied. Adults are often bullied, don’t think this is just for kids.
You need to know when to cooperate in other words when to go along to get along. You also know when to stand up for you and that means standing up against bullies.
My jobs directing Mental Health Crisis Teams involved grants that required cooperation and collaboration. The motive was a good one: to allow many points of view and most particularly to get “the experts” with degrees listening to parents of mentally ill children who had different and often ignored knowledge.
Gregory Bateson, a leading student of human nature, claimed that the more views of what he called “the territory” the more accurate the map. I am a “go along to get along” kind of person. I tend to think everyone I meet has something to teach. I prefer cooperation, collaboration, and kindness.
What I learned, however, when trying to work with five different teams of people, was while most people are good, cooperation and collaboration can mean the bullies and cheats rule. I then appreciated the not so nice definition of cooperation – “Sleeping with enemy.”
It was this experience that convinced me kindness, cooperating, and going along to get along worked to strengthen bullies. Bullies see it as weakness. Bullies are willing to step as hard as necessary on others, particular those who seem weak, in order to rule or add to their pockets.
As with most human endeavors, you need to know what drives those you seek to cooperate or collaborate with. You also need to know how to protect yourself and those you love and the rest of the world.
As Andrew Vachssnotes: “Life is a ﬁght, but not everyone’s a ﬁghter. Otherwise, bullies would be an endangered species.”
Emotional fitness tip about bullying
Tip one: Greet everyone with trust, but remember trust is a hope not a quarantee.
Tip two: Once bitten twice shy is a good motto. Twice bitten, thrice cautious protects better. Thrice bitten, put up your shields and possibly your dukes.
Tip three: Weigh the deepness of the bite against the value of the relationship.
Tip four: When the bite is small or relationship matters we need more tolerance.
Tip five: Bitten often or badly enough give up false hopes of change. If you stay in the relationship expect other bites.
Tip six: Do not tolerate abuse against yourself or another. Physical safety first and always. Take a self defense course.
Tip Seven: When love is part of the mix, defending yourself is harder. Read this: You can leave someone physically and maintain the relationship, but at a safe distance. Necessary if a child has grown into a bully who can hurt you. choice in most other relationships.
Life is difficult and often a struggle as you must know by now. Bullies abound. I hope my tips are helful. Try my Daily Twelve Emotional Fitness Exercises; hopefully they will help you deal with the negative feelings bullies create.
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DISCLAIMER: FORGIVE MY GRAMMATICAL ERRORS FOR I HAVE DYSGRAPHIA. If you need perfect posts, you will not find them here. I have dysgraphia which means that sometimes my sentence structure is not that easy to follow or I make other errors. Still, most people understand me. All of my books are professionally edited, but not all of my blog posts are. Thanks for your understanding and reading my work.