POST 16: WHAT IF YOU DIED TOMORROW? WHAT WOULD YOU REGRET? Thinking about your death is enough to make anyone cranky and then some. As I noted in this morning’s post, when you are on the Downhill Slope even when strolling hand and hand with denial, death is more present. No matter how hard you try to back pedal you know what is coming
This short re-blog is by a nurse who worked in palliative care. Made me think of my days as a young social worker. I worked with the Radiology Department and the Neurosurgical Departments of the Mary Fletcher Hospital in Burlington, Vermont. Both assignments made me think about death, things worse than death. Vaccinated me a bit against regrets.
None of the regrets resonated with me. surprized? One would think someone known as a Cranky Old Lady would be nodding her head like one of the things some people put on the dash boards of their cars–mostly see them on pick-up trucks. They don’t make me cranky, but make me scratch my head. Anyway back to death and regrets. I am grateful I was forced to contemplate the fact of death on a daily basis fairly early in my life.
I did tend to live in the future a bit too much during my twenties. When I graduated from High School my three best friends got married. When I graduated from college, I went to twenty weddings; twenty-three of us had roomed together for all four years. The three who didn’t marry were dubbed the Old Maids. Two married the year after graduation. I was single when some started divorcing. I was happy in my work, but also thought my life would only really begin when I married. That happened in my mid-thirties. Partly, I think it happened because I stopped living in the future or depending on someone else to complete me. Another digression.
I do have a regret, well probably two. First, I will simply not be able to do all the things I want to do. Part of getting cranky as you age comes from facing that you don’t have all the time in the world to do stuff. Fortunately, it is pretty easy to give up most of the things I just know won’t happen. Would have like to have seen Israel, gone on a few cruises, taken a ride in a glider, learned to swim without wearing goggles, vacationed in a house boat.
Harder to give up a few other things and I still work on them: my novel and trying to take Emotional Fitness Training from a no profit business to where it might bring in enough to let me buy a car when our current one dies or not have to move yet again to a smaller, cheaper apartment.
But the big regret is one I can do nothing about. Seeing my grands reach adulthood. Be lucky if I see them into their teens. Luckier, if my brain holds together so I know them and can be a beloved Granny-Kat, not some cranky old lady they must visit.
STAYING STRONG TIP: Contemplate your death and decide what you need to do to die without regrets. What if you died tomorrow, who will you regret not having said “I care” or “I love you or “I apologize” to ? If you knew you were going to die in exactly one year, what would how will you live that year? If you have just five years left, how will you live those years.
PRACTICING KINDNESS is one of EFT’s 12 Daily Exercises. Be kind to me: like if you do, and if you really like it, share. you will warm my heart , make me less cranky, my husband happy, and add to whatever kindness chips do here and here-after.
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