This Poster Coach says it all.
All is change and feelings come and go often faster than NASCAR racers. However, some bad times will bring you to your knees or knock you out. I call those times “Life blows,” the experts call them traumas.
Now is one of the three worse times of my life. Why? Not for sharing. However, the poster coach above tells how I survived the other two times and how I will continue surviving
When a life blow strikes you down, going on will be a struggle, but if you look back over your life, as I am doing, you will see you have survived the worse of times. Honoring surviving past life blows strengthens your ability to go on.
Emotional training tip one: As you start to recover do what you can as you can. Hoever, be patient; time does not heal all wounds but ususally we mend enough in the broken places to go on.
Emotional training tip two: As always take good care of your body, Life blows weaken our physical beings making it essential to do all the things your mother and doctor say keep you healthy.
Emotional training tip three: Remember what matters. Life blows challenge our deepest beliefs. Explains why there are no atheists in fox holes.
AND, if you ask agnostics and atheists why they turned from religion; 99% will say because religion failed to explain bad things that happen. Some of the religious will become more devout.
My parents were more agnostic than not. I became a Christian as a teen, a non-Christian as a college student, and a Jew a year after I married.
One of the attractions of Judiasm was its lack of need to seek converts. I had turned away from Christianity because the emphasis on conversion did not match my idea of a loving God turning away from those who had found a different path to a being a good person defied my logical brain. I am grateful, Christians have given up killing in Jesus’ name and hope the fanatical Islamists do the same before they destroy the world.
Retirement has allowed me to study Torah more carefully. It is studying philosophy as much as how to be an observant Jew. I was a philosophy major in college and so love studying Torah and Judaism as a philosophy. As I have often noted all philosophies, religions, and secular sages agree that what matters most is kindness to all.
Those who practice kindness to some are the current obstacles to peace on earth. Some are religious, many just power hungry, money hoarders, or self-involved. We all have power, money and selfish needs. Counter them by practicing deliberate kindness.
Build good memories of the past for and with your child. How? Laugh, play, and create together. Make one of your joint creations a memory book. Include a few bad memories to accentuate the reality that life is not all good times. Those pages will also honor surviving.
This post was inspired by: But No Cigar: Tell us about a time things came this close to working out… but didn’t. What happened next? Would you like the chance to try again, or are you happy with how things eventually worked out?
With each life blow, I kept trying. Never easy, but nothing else to do except die and I was not and am not ready for that. Mostly, I found lessons, and that was the good in each life blow. I deepened my thinking about me, others, life, why pain, why evil, God.
Two tips for those whose life is one of constant physical or emotional pain.
Tip one: Make sure you are getting the best care possible. Emotional Fitness Tips augment, but do not replace competent professional help.
Tip two: One of the best sources of pratical help for both acute and chronic suffering is Marsha Linehan’s work, particularly her thoughts on Radical Acceptance.
I was once accused of stealing her ideas, but that was before I had even heard of her. The criticism pushed me to learn about her and to attend a training lead by her. I saw why I was thought to be plagerizing her and felt honored by the comparison.
The fact is when we suffer, we are the ones who need to deal with it alone or with help from those who care and in some situations professionals. Training seeks to help you stay strong.
Watch for my newest venture. Publishing short eBooks as PDF documents at my store. My other books will continue to be sold on my Amazon.com Author’s page.
This new venture is related to feeling the pressure of age and the on-going wish to share the knowledge I and others have found useful. Money makes self-publishing in a PDF format the only way I can do that.
The books will not be perfect, dygraphia will interfere, but each will be good as I can so without spending money.
As usual thank you for supporting me. I am so lucky so many of you are there for me.