Today’s Topic #175: Why do some people’s dreams get realized, and others don’t? Make a list of the factors you think are involved, including the ones people do and don’t have control over.

This one seemed made for me on two counts.  I think my blog goes mostly unread and that is where I am feeling like a failure.   The Be With Beauty pictures get some recognition, but not most of my other posts.  So let me list some of the reasons why I think that is:

  1. Not error free.  Every bit of advice I read on this topic says blogs have to be error free.  Paying a professional proof reader is  the only way mine can become error free.  I have mentioned often that my writing holds more errors than most because I have dysgraphia, a little known and poorly understood learning disability.  Aging has intensified the problems   I simply don’t have the money to pay for such help.  I am a Jill of All when it comes to my writing.   I am saving pennies to pay a proof reader for my novel if that ever gets finished.
  2. Loss of focus.  Just spent two hours creating a Learning Differences and Disabilities  Page on my Blog.  Am proud of that page, think it is important, but I really can get lead to lots of different places when I should stay focused on my two main goals.  What are they? Making Emotional Fitness Training, Inc.  live up to its business motto–“Make Money Doing Good.” and finishing my novel.  Okay, there is another goal, living a good life as long as I can, loving my family, enjoying what I have been granted.  This goal  does interfere with the other goals, but only somewhat.
  3. Haven’t gotten the right balance of personal and commercial material on my blog.
  4. Not consistently organized.
  5. Not able to sell myself.  Two reasons play into this.  One is the uncertainty created by the  failures I endured and endure, because of my learning challenges and disabilities. The second is the idea that selling yourself if a bit like prostitution–and by the way I am in favor of legalizing prostitution.  Still selling what I love gets in my way.  I prefer to give away.   Tied in with this  is the idea making money is somehow not the best goal; leads to greediness in far too many.
  6. Underlying emotional stresses that erode energy.
  7. Underlying real life stresses that also erode energy–aging, diminishing income besides all the other stuff to worry about in today’s world.
  8. Luck.  Luck plays apart in success and failure and needs greater emphasis.  One of the reasons Jerome Kagan is one of my human development gurus is that he lists luck as a major factor in how we become who we become.
  9. The impact of the voices around me.  I will probably discuss this in a future post as it is really the third post  in my Why People Don’t Have Free Will series.  But here is how some pull me down.  I have loved reading and getting to know many bloggers and many blogging styles through the post-a-day, but there has been a humbling down side for me.  So many are far ahead of me in ability.  Makes me feel like the little girl standing at the black board in elementary school trying to add problems all the others did so easily.  I often had to stay in during recess; my caring teacher had a  misguided hope somehow if I just worked hard enough I’d get it.  At least I have been able to protect others kids from this type of shame.   The wonderful blogs make me think, I should give up trying. Not going to, but also hard to keep going, at least for now.  I will pusuhvire.
  10. Spelling  success in numbers.  I do buy into those and my numbers are not so hot.

So there is a list of ten reasons why I am not the success I want to be.

STAYING STRONG TIPS:  So being my own Emotional Fitness Trainer, here are the things I have to do to stay strong.

  1. Hold on to  the right definition of success.
  2. Accept my weakness and my strengths
  3. Work on getting rid of fears both about failing and about not being a good person if I sell myself, and that means doing what I am most afraid of.  I have products almost finished to sell.   Think finishing them and getting them up on my web page  is a way to combat both fears.
  4. Practice imperfection cautiously, but don’t wait for perfect to move ahead.
  5. Divide my work time into three areas, selling, creating EFT products, working on my novel. Use a timer to keep me on task for the alloted period of time.
  6. Tackle the area giving me the most difficulty first.
  7. Pusuhvire.

Advice, cheering on will be greatly appreciated.  Trying to stay strong.

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  1. I always enjoy your posts! Lately my stats have been down and I am trying to reconcile how important stats are. I have a lovely group of regular readers and I am thinking that I just need to post what I feel. Then there is the other part of me that says write for stats although I am not sure what makes some things more popular than others. Hang in there girl!

    • Hanging in. One of the glories of the internet comes from the people you meet who take the time to share their caring. My spirits have lifted. Still struggling, but have been able to move ahead again, slowly but the love so many showed helped. t think statistics matter, but how important they are depend on your goals. Sharing to vent, connect, share knowledge and experience then statistics, I have almost 400 friends on Facebooks and that is more than enough. It has been wonderful keeping up with students, former employees, reconnecting with some of my childhood friends, some of my son’s friends and even a former foster child. Others are people with whom I share politic thoughts and ideas, we agree on some things not on others but we educate each other. More than that and it becomes a statistic and not a connection.

      That would content me, if I didn’t want also to do some selling. Then I need a great deal more hits. I think I have sorted out some things I need to do and am going to focus on them, but also accept that it takes time and focus. So wish me luck and thank you for your support.

  2. Oh yay! Another person with a rare learning disability. I have dyscalculia, so I can see where you are coming from on that end. It’s hard to get words down sometimes, even though my problem is predominately with numbers.

    As far as the numbers game for blogs are concerned, I really couldn’t care less. I just post and run most of the time lol. I do pay attention to posting my best stuff through the week and post fluff on weekends. Hardly anyone pays attention on Fridays and Saturdays. And considering this is a holiday weekend in two countries, I doubt anyone’s going to be gawking much for a few days.

    All that being said, I think you do a swell job at getting your point across. I enjoyed reading this post. 🙂

Agree or disagree, comments are always welcomed.

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