HEART OR HEAD, WHICH RULES YOU?  Topic #217: Are you driven by your head or your heart? Or maybe by something else? How do you balance the conflicting forces for how to be?

A chance to promote emotional fitness and my business Emotional Fitness Training, Inc.  Think of heart as passion and feelings, head thought.  Feelings are signals and signals designed to get you to act and act quickly.  Rarely as useful as taking a moment or two to think.  Even if in a crowded theater when you see fire, smell smoke and everyone is dashing for the nearest entrance, taking a few nanoseconds to think might save your life.  Same if you wake in the middle of the night with your smoke alarm beeping and smoke entering the room.  Panic says rush to the door and get out.  The firemen say, “Please don’t open the door, if it is hot, you are only inviting the fire in.”   Finally, there is love at first sight, which this rather experienced old one says is generally lust at first sight.  Lust is a great introductory card, but other things matter too and marriages based on lust alone usually fail.

So one should always strive to do both.  I directed and trained crisis workers in NYCity.  My role was to help a crisis team decide if a suicidal or aggressively acting out child needed to be hospitalized.  My main message was your heart and head must agree. You should not hospitalize a child on a hunch only; hunches and intuition are good, but still need thinking through.  So when your heart says “Yes” or “No, ” you still need to think about and be able to explain why.  Finally, in the big decisions, you need input from others.  The more people who look at a situation, the more likely it is reason will be part of the picture, provided, of course, you don’t just seek input from those who agree with you.  That is the one trait  of a good coach and a good friend–objective feedback, not just nice-nice  talk.

Passion is strong, which is why almost everyone can profit from strengthening their emotional fitness skills which is what my business and blog is about.

Share, care, and stay strong

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