Why blog, why be on Facebooks, Twitter, Linkedin? Yes, I wish my business would grow and I would suddenly make lots of money selling Emotional Fitness Training Posters or email coaching. Not the real passionate reason I share so much. The Myer Briggs Test told me I was both an extravert which means I needed contact with people and that I also craved authenticity which means ” I gotta be me” as Sammy Davis declared. Blogging makes it easier to do both.
Having to be me has also made my life a bit more difficult as not everyone likes some of me; so it goes and blogging means those people can just ignore me, so I tend to get only positive feed back or helpful criticism.
I am also a social worker and a professor and one way I try to combine both is through sharing knowledge. I am particularly interested in sharing knowledge about mental health and what makes us who we are. I also think many of us are ashamed to talk about things that we shouldn’t be ashamed of. Molesting a child–worthy of shame; stealing from the poor–worthy of shame; killing innocents for religious or power needs–worthy of shame. Shame is designed to keep us from doing the unthinkable and these are the things I would be ashamed to do. Almost everything else goes and I support issues many find difficult–the right to abortion and contraception being one; gay rights another. Really offensive to some is the big M–masturbation, but having to be me means these are things I talk about.
My openness is attractive to some and horrifying to others–I am glad my sons don’t read all I write. I do have a professional reason for openness. Try this little test next time you’d like to get closer to someone, share a little about yourself that is attuned to the other person’s being. Dealing with some one who is shy–and by the way, I am shy in cocktail party type situations–mention your shyness. AND we all are shy at one level or another. Sharing yourself usually expands the conversation. This is called modeling and is how children and others learn as well as how intimacy is built. Of course it can’t all be about you talking.
It has taken me a long time to be me. I suffer from a learning disability that means when I write, stupid mistakes are part of the mix. Spell and grammar check don’t always capture the mistakes–nor do I when reading. Another confession, my ADD-hyperactive type means I often push the send button with out re-reading. This filled me with shame as a child and teen, I can still turn beet red when I catch a stupid mistake that has gone out to the world. But I have also published two books, so I still seem to write “better than the average bear.”
I was lucky enough to grow up when there were not standardized tests to get your high school diploma let alone get into college. Probably wouldn’t have made college today. I was also lucky enough to have parents who encouraged learning for the love of learning.
Luck is also a topic that some argue with me about. I think we have choice in life, but not as much as the happiness gurus’ preach. Luck or chance robs some of our choices and for some people–all choice. Most disagree with that stance, but I’ve seen too many beaten down by life to think it is all up to us.
This is exceeding my 600 word limit, so will sign off. Here is a link to Sammy Davis video of “I Gotta Be Me”. I wanted to post it as a video but that is beyond me now. Enjoy and stay strong.