Deal With Disrespect The Emotionally Intelligent Way

Being put down? Called names? Treated with scorn? It is not emotionally smart to let other people’s bad behavior get  to you. This poem might help.

Seamus Heaney Poem

Some people handle their bad feelings by turning on someone else. I know I do at times. Part of being human, but diminishes all.

Emotional Fitness Training Tips

Tip one: Do a quick reality check. Are you guilty? Of what? To what degree? Could you be arrested and convicted of a felony? Maybe you need to feel a bit guilty. On the other hand have you not been as kind and caring as you should be?  Proves you are human; may also prove you are too stressed.

Tip two. Try to understand the other person’s view point; agree with what is true, apologize if you feel you are wrong and try to do better. That is all any of us can do.

Tip three: Don’t argue or defend yourself. Best to just listen and make neutral sounds  or nod your head.

Tip four: Ask the other person to be specific about what they want you to change. Agree if their request in reasonable, but if it isn’t, say “I wish I could do that but I know that will not happen. What else might help solve this?” Repeat that sentence  until  you hear  something fair and that you believe you can work on without resentment.

Tip five: Accept that we are all flawed. Doing so will help you forgive yourself and others.

Tip six:Strengthen your self-soothing skills.  My eBook Self-soothing to Create Calm in Your Life will help with that.

Parenting advice

Teens are particularly prove at the blame game. Many are what I call “Gotcha Warriors. In order to ease their guilt, many  teens will try to make parents act crazy or bad, so they can feel like they are the good guys.

However, stubborn three and four-year old children  can get you tearing your hair also. With these it is more feeling powerless. But the tactics described above work well with all children. My eBook When Good Kids Get You in a A Gotcha War might also strengthen you for these battles.  These Poster Coach might also help.

How to win a Gotcha War with a teen


Remember sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful. Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Didn’t like it? Comment and tell me why and how to improve.



These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(


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