Finally: Published. Not Perfect But Good Enough

Does fear make you do things you regret?

Keep you from doing things you want to do?


Defang Fear is information dense and offers many ways to pull fear’s teeth from your being. Learning a few of the exercises will rid you of the small fears that nip at you. Such fears are mosquito bites; annoying, but you can brush them aside and get on with your life.

The bigger fears that hold you back need more work. These are overblown survival fears and boil down to fear of pain and that includes psychological pain. Why the book also offers an intensive self-help program.  

The specific fears addressed in the book include:

  • shyness

  • fear of speaking up in meetings or the classroom

  • test and performance anxiety

  • fear of riding an elevator

  • terror at stepping into a swimming pool

  • useless worrying that keeps you up at night

  • fear if being found flawed in one way or another (pursuing perfectionism)


As some of you know I have dysgraphia. If you don’t know, that is a learning disability that means constant imperfection when it comes to spelling and grammar.

I spent countless hours in the fourth grade rewriting the days spelling words. I was told by my high school English teacher told me  I would fail Freshmen English if I even got into college.

I made it to college. First semester, the English professor called me to his office before grades were issued. I thought he was going to tell me I failed. Instead, he apologized and said my spelling errors made it impossible for him to give me an A+. He encouraged me to major in English.  I did. 

As an English major, I got mostly A’s. One professor gave me A over F (A for content, F for spelling and grammar) which rounded out to a C. 

I wanted to be a writer. My father was a reporter, aka as a journalist in the jargan of today. I wanted to follow in his footsteps. but that seemed impossible given my dysgraphia struggles. 

Moreover, when college ended I needed a job. My father used one of his friends to get me a job as a social worker. I fell in love with helping people. 

Eventually, I got my Masters Degree at Bryn Mawr’s Graduate School of Social  Work and Social Research. Not because I could spell or punctuate properly, but because most of my professor’s realized I had a brain and thought critically. 

Given the above, how did I become a published author? Five things made that possible.

One: I love writing and when writing for myself in my journals, spelling errors did not matter. I have been writing since I learned to hold a pencil. 

Two: Word processing made my writing more error-free, note the word more.

Three: Becoming a Special Need Foster Parent, which meant I had an interesting tale to tell.

Four: Great support beginning with my parents, then the teachers and professors who saw my strengths as well as my weakness, the editors who put up with my dysgraphia, and finally, I married a man who supported my hopes, dreams, and efforts. He pushed me to places I never thought I could reach.

Five: Crazy as it may seem, having dysgraphia also played a part in my becoming an author. How? Mostly by forcing me to live with good-enough as perfection was never to be mine. 


Practice kindness by reading, liking, commenting or sharing this post.  Then Consider buying Defang Fear In All Its Disguises. 

It costs $2.99 which is less than a latte, lasts longer, and does more good. Also, it is free to those with  Kindle Unlimited. 


These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.



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