With all the broadcasting of terror we face every day, we need to think deeply, but only about what matters.
Nature creates and destroys. Nature is embedded in our being, which is why the causes of today and every day violence are deep and tangled and keep violence rooted in human history.
Pain or fear of pain are the fertile soil allowing violence to live on. Nature’s way for all living creatures to survive pain is the instinct to fight or flee. When we think we can win, we fight; when we think we cannot win, we flee; fleeing can mean fainting a form of a playing dead move.
When pain or fear begin, thought dumbs down. How? Numbing chemicals flood our system so we can ignore pain. Useful, for fighting or fleeing, but those chemicals also numb thought; not useful.
What to do to keep your thoughts from dumbing down? Here are some tips.
Emotional Fitness Tips
Tip one: Hone all your self-soothing skills. These are the skills that keep you calm and keep you thinking. See EFT’s Easy Exercise for some.
Tip two: Take breaks from all the horror. When the news begins to get me down, I turn off and hunker down to a good book. Reading gets me to a better place where I can stress less, grow stronger, and in time return to trying to make my world and the world a better.
Tip three: Do not deny. Some people use breaks to stay comfortably in the land of denial. Not a sign of Emotional Intelligence for denial avoids reality.
Follow this advice of Daniel Goleman, popularizer of Emotional Intelligence: “When I say manage emotions, I only mean the really distressing, incapacitating emotions. Feeling emotions is what makes life rich. You need your passions.”
Reading is my passion and without it I would be buried by grief and horror.
Tip four: When you feel like a victim, work harder to change what you can change without blaming others. You can only change you and that is hard enough. Holding on to victim-hood prolongs pain and turns you against those you see as causing your hurt.
Best to work toward an understanding acceptance of this fact: We all do the best we can, and often the best is not good enough. When the best someone can do leads to violence, we need to protect ourselves, but not let their violence find a home in our hearts. Forgive at its root simple means, not pursuing revenge or violence.
Tip five: Practice Radical Acceptance. Make one of your mantras “It is what it is.”
Tip six: Remember what matters, be grateful for the good you have been given practice kindness.
If your behavior finds you doing things you regret, gets you into trouble with the law, or hurting yourself or others, get help. Don’t know where to find it? Start with suicide hot lines like this one. This one provides a chat line for anyone caught in pain whether or not considering suicide. If you are caught in thoughts of hurting someone, remember that starts in pain, so call the hot line.
Thank You for All You Do
Thank me by remembering to share is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting is practicing kindness and kindness keeps me going
This post was inspired by the Word Press Daily Post Prompt Depth and the horror of terrorism including the shooting of police in Dallas.
I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.
Not sure how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer? Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has taken others and how other thoughts fuel your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.
LINKS OF INTEREST
These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.
Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (www.emotionalfitnesstraining.com
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)