“If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.” as my mother often said. I hated hearing that, but she was giving me an important reality check.
Wishing does not make it so, but wishing has it uses. Mainly it gives us hope. As the last quote states however, you need to do two things to make your wishes come true.
Emotional Fitness Training Tips
Emotional Fitness Training Tip One: Think needs versus wishes and wants. Having a wish list helps.
Wishing creates powerful wants; the stronger the wish, the more it feels like a need and the more emotional reasoning replaces reality. You need water, warmth, food, a safe place to live, two or three good friends. Meeting these needs should be your first priority.
It is okay to wish. In fact, I keep a wish list. Topping it is winning the lottery, so I can make all my wishes that require money come true. Then I have a few more important ones, like a new used car, and as my computer just crashed yet again, a new computer. These I am working toward. But I also include some smaller more mundane wishes. None are needs. Two of those are finding a king size quilt at Good Will for our bed, and an even lesser wish is a new trapeze type pullover dress to wear as a cover up when walking to the swim pool. I have a great one, but it is twenty years old and fading. Some days I want to cook less, so on my wish list is going out for dinner once in a while. Having the smaller wishes keeps good feelings alive when they come true as they so often do eventually.
Emotional Fitness Training Tip Two: Turn your strongest wishes into SMART goals.
For more help with setting goals buy my eBook Know Your Mission So You Can Reach Your Goals. It costs less than a latte, and I think you will agree has more ongoing value.
No matter how busy you are work toward your SMART goal six days a week. Try to give at least an hour toward your goal, but fifteen minutes is better than none. Read The War of Art by Steven Pressfield for inspiration.
Why six days and not all seven? We all need one day off from work even when trying to get reach our most heart-felt goal.
Emotional Fitness Training Tip Three: Do not let perfectionism hold you back. I let that happen. Not helpful. Best to put something out there and perfect it as you go along.
Emotional Fitness Training Tip Four: Expect failure and keep going. Keep going, but at some point remember as I have found out, :”When a goal is not met, the wrong goal was set.”
Emotional Fitness Training Tip Five: Strengthen your self-soothing and radical acceptance skills. Go here to read about Radical Acceptance, you will not regret spending a little bit about this concept developed by Marsha Linehan.
Go here for an introduction to EFT’s Daily Exercise Program and to learn some ease self-soothing exercises.
Emotional Fitness Training Tip Six: Remember what matters. All the research shows that what matters is not how smart you are, how many things you have, but doing you best to make the world a better place. Mostly that means trying to live the golden rule, but also practicing forgiveness of self and others.
Thank You For All You Do
Practice Kindness by sharing all you find of value on the internet including this post. All crave recognition. A like says “Thank You.”Comments say you have read and thought about the post.Sharing is a gift to three people: the blogger, the people you share with, and you for your kindness bless you.Stay strong, it is not always easy.
This post was inspired by a WordPress Daily Prompt – Three Coins in the Fountain. Have you ever tossed a coin or two into a fountain and made a wish? Did it come true?
Yes, sometimes, not other times.
This post is also an update of a previous post.
LINKS OF INTEREST: These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.
Even the most learned researchers and therapists quarrel about much. Take their advice and mine carefully. Don’t just listen to your heart, but also think; don’t just think, listen to your heart. Heart and head working together increase the odds you will find useful advice amid all the promises and hopes pushed at you be others. As others have noted, take what seems useful, leave the rest.
Disclaimer two: Forgive my grammatical errors
If you need perfect posts, you will not find them here; I will understand if you don’t follow, like or share what like me. Not only am I dealing with an aging brain, but all of my life I have been plagued by dysgraphia–a learning disability, Some of my posts might be peppered with bad spelling, poor punctuation, and worse words that make no sense. If you want to hang in with me, thank you; you are kind. If a post doesn’t make sense or bugs you too much, stop reading, I will understand.