False Expectations Appearing Real – Six Tips To Get Real


The roots of violence are deep and tangled, but mostly grounded in pain. We survive pain by fighting, fleeing, or enduring.  Pain can be physical or emotional. False expectations create emotional pain. When the following  facts are not recognized false expectations grow.

  1. Life is not fair. Good people often suffer and bad people reap goodness from bad acts.
  2. We all suffer.
  3. Some suffer more than others.
  4. Minorities suffer more.
  5. The weak suffer more.
  6. The odd or different suffer more.
  7. The more privileged we are, the blinder we are to other people’s suffering.
  8. The more privileged we are the more we want to keep our privilege
  9. The more we suffer, the more we hurt; the more we hurt the more we crave revenge. Revenge feels good, but does no good.
  10. Step out of victim-hood. Victims blame others, to avoid taking responsibility; blame  fuels the flames of revenge.

Emotional Fitness Tips

Tip one: Be clear about what you do not control.  The “Just Do It” mantra says we control all. False. We do not control the weather, the gifts or deficits bestowed upon us by our genes, the culture that surrounds us, the traumas that come our way, or other people.

Tip two: Own what you do control. Mostly we control  our behavior.  Note the word mostly, because when we do not control our behavior it is usually a sign of immaturity – children have temper tantrums, adults should not; or mental illness.

Tip three: If your behavior finds you doing things you regret, gets you into trouble with the law,  or  hurting yourself or others, get help

Tip four:  When you feel like a victim, work harder to change what you can change without blaming others. You can only change you and that is hard enough.

Tip five: Practice Radical Acceptance. Make one of your mantras “It is what it is.”

Tip six: Remember what matters, be grateful for the good you have been given practice kindness.

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting is practicing kindness and kindness keeps me going


This post was inspired by the Word Press  Daily Post Prompt  False and the shooting of police in Dallas.

I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.

Not sure  how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has  taken others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.



These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (www.emotionalfitnesstraining.com
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

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