Find Your One and Only True Companion

Poem by #johnciardi

You marry for one reason, and in time might wonder what you were thinking.  Probably, you weren’t thinking, but that is another story.

I found this poem when struggling with marital conflict. It made me think hard about what I wanted and how to get it. That was over thirty years ago. Still married to the same man, still struggling at times, but no regrets, none.

Emotional Fitness Tips

Tip one: You are the one; your needs are your responsibility.  No way around this one. The needs are yours and you cannot expect another to meet them better than you can.

Tip two: You need a help mate.  As the poet Elizabeth B. Browning noted: “I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me you bring out.”

Tip three: You have to give in order to get.  Relationships take nurturing. You need to give what the other needs to get what you need.

Tip four: Laugh and play together as often as you can.  John Gottman, researcher on relationships, found that the ones that lasted were the ones where good times were present five more often than bad times.

I often think Johnny Carson saved my marriage. We had a tv in the bedroom and never when to sleep without watching his monalogue and sometimes the whole show.

Tip five: Get away from each other. Doing your own thing on your own or with your friends meets the need to be you, just you.

We took separate vacations as well as family vacations. We also had nights off, time off both meaning time alone.

Tip six: Remember what matters. End short term relationships quickly if yours and the other’s needs are out of sync.  End physically abusive relationships immediately.

Hold on to and work the relationship when young children are involved or the relationship has survived many years. Facts show new relationships often turn out to have the same problem as old ones.

Thank You for All You Do

Thank me by remembering to share  is to care; if you liked this post, share it. Liking, or commenting also keep matter as your caring keeps me going.


This post was inspired by the Word Press  Daily Post Prompt “Companion”

I use the Daily Prompts not just to spark my blog ideas, but to improve my critical thinking skills.  You can do the same.

Not sure  how to use a Daily Post Prompt as a writer?  Here are the steps to get started. Then improve your thinking skills by seeing where the prompt has led others and how other thoughts fuel  your thoughts. Whether you write or not your thinking skills are improved by reading other people’s thoughts.


These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (
Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(


Agree or disagree, comments are always welcomed.

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