Debating is fun, heated arguments, however, can end up with you wanting to throw a brick at someone or something. Not wise.
What do most people argue about? Here’s my list: religion, politics, money, sex, right or wrong, which team is best, and did the umpire make the right call.
The first four rest on perspective; the best team is a matter of time and luck; the umpire’s call can be a matter of perspective, but with today’s technology backup might prove to be the correct one.
So what’s the point? Mostly we argue because we want our beliefs to remain unshaken. The instant someone holds a different opinion, ours is challenged. Some people enjoy the challenge, but in other situations, it can and does grow deadly.
Think of the wars waged in the name of one religion or another. Part of those wars are also waged over who has political power, who can decide how money is spent, and who determines which behaviors are proper and which are “immoral.”
Of course, wanting to be in control, and in charge of your life is the desire to be powerful is also at play. These are the part of wanting your beliefs to remain unshaken. Underlying all of the above are the beliefs you hold about yourself.
At the bottom of all of the above are the beliefs you hold about yourself. Those are the ones can cause the most pain when shaken. We want to believe we are “good.” We want to believe we are strong. Finally, we want to believe we are in control of our lives.
According to Harvard psychologist Jerome Kagan, when these beliefs get challenged four things can happen:
1 . We ignore the challenge.
2. We blame someone or something for making us uncertain and get angry.
3. We blame ourselves and become depressed.
4. We think nothing makes sense and become apathetic and despairing.
Emotional Fitness Training Tips
Tip one: Get clear on what matters. Safety first and that means for all, not just you and your family or your tribe.
Tip two: Treat others the way you want to be treated. Research study after research shows that this is the only sure path to the good life for you and the rest of the world.
Tip three: Do not be ruled just by your heart, always partner with your brain; the more strongly you think you have found the truth, the more you need to think critically.
Tip four: Strengthen your self-soothing skills. In order to think clearly and critically, you need to be calm and focused. If you have not already learned EFT’s One Minute Meditation, do so now. Practice ir for a week at least three times a day and it will help you slow down the urge to act on strong feelings.
Tip five: Practice forgiveness.
Keep these tips in mind and never need to throw a brick again. Stay emotionally strong and enjoy all you have been given.
Thank you for all you do. Thank me by remembering sharing is caring; so is liking, or commenting. Your caring keeps me going.
These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.
- Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
- The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
- Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
- An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)
I am in the process of revamping my site and working to add an easy way to sell media. As I am financially not able to hire help, I have become the site’s IT (not) expert. Which is leading me and you on a “Wild and Crazy Ride.” Ignore, laugh, or cheer me on.
My PDF eBook Cross-Train Your Brain is still free but the end is nearing as Defang Fear In All Its Disguises is about to go free as a PDF. So if you have not downloaded it Cross-Train, do so now. It will soon cost a pretty penny.