Or so my father said. This #Emotional_Fitness Training blog post examines why so many of us reject sincere praise as unacceptable flattery.
I hate it worse when my doctor says “My brain is fine.” She doesn’t add “For your age” but the thought is there. And yes, I do look pretty good for my age and my brain works better than many. Still, aging is difficult and I don’t know any one on what I call the downhill slope of life who would not prefer the looks and brain they had at a younger age.
However, those who say or think “Good for your age” are offering up a sincere compliment and you should not discount the compliment. Too often we do.
Emotional fitness thoughts and tip
Why do we reject so many sincere and well intention-ed compliments as flattery which means not sincere? It all goes back to the Curse of Personal Knowledge. Because we know our flaws, our struggles as no other person can, so we are quick to discount another’s praise as flattery.
Today’s emotional fitness training tips
Tip one: Accept all compliments that come your way, a few maybe false: reject ing all is twisted thinking – generalizing, mind reading, filtering what is said through your window of Personal Knowledge.
No matter what you feel about someone praising you, accept and say “Thank You.”
Tip two: Compliments are a way to Practice Kindness, an Emotional Fitness exercise. When accepted two people’s #Emotional_Intelligence is strengthened; the person complimented and the compliment giver.
If you want your compliments accepted, two strategies help: One is to complement strangers. You will always get a big smile and a “Thank you.” Well, almost always.
Then always pass along the nice things you hear others saying about someone you both know. I call these “Secondhand”Compliments.”
Remember happiness is more about how you feel about yourself, what you have, how you look, or what others say about you. Remember what matters and strive to live by Practicing Kindness, caring and sharing. These matter most.
Finally, this post was inspired by both a Word Press Daily Prompt: The Sincerest Form of Flattery Publish a post in the style of a favorite author/blogger or photographer. As usual I did my own thing about the topic.
Thank you for all you do. I am particularly grateful to those who practice internet kindness by liking, rating, commenting, or sharing my posts.
LINKS OF INTEREST
- Flattery versus Praise (TanverrNaseer.com)
- 12 Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (amazon.com)
- Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
- Weekly Writing Challenge (wordpress.com)