Four Magical Words

Don’t know what to say to a suffering friend? Think about this:

 Practice Gratitude quotes.

Not all suffering can be comforted, but “How can I help?” works like magic  much of the time.

Also useful: “I hear you.”   “Terrible.”  ” Life is beating up on you.”  “Really bad.”

A gentle touch and for some a hug are also comforting.

For a young child: a hug, soothing sounds, a place in your lap  help best. Then as soon as the child starts showing he or she understands language  teaching how to rate hurts.

That starts with rating pain. When your toddler is crying uncontrollable after a bump and cannot even get up to come to you, go to the child pick her up offer comfort, and  say “Big Pain.” When toddler is coming to you for comfort call the pain “Medium  Pain.”  when obviously a bit hurt but not needing comfort say ” Small Pain.”

Talk directly to school aged and teen about what matters. For example, words that hurt create big pains, but  are not the same as physical hurts. Physical hurts may need medical attention. Word hurts need a strong self-soothing shield.

Everyone needs strong self-soothing skills to survive small, medium, and huge hurts. Everyone also needs to learn and practice such skills when things are good in order for the skills to strengthen you for the bad times. My eBook, Self-soothing, How To Create Calm includes 30 self-soothing exercises. Get it now, it costs less than a latte.


Kindness improves emotional fitness and the ability to withstand life’s bad times.  You can practice kindness right now by liking, commenting, or sharing this post.

Thank you and work at staying strong until next time.  I work on doing that all the time.


P.S.This post was inspired by this Word Press Daily Prompt

Do You Believe in Magic?  You have been transformed into a mystical being who has the ability to do magic. Describe your new abilities in detail. How will you use your new skills?

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Emotional Intelligence (
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (



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