We are social creatures, we want to be with others and in ways that matter and say we matter. Relationships, however, are difficult. As this article points out, the little things can be just as destructive as the larger hurts we are capable of inflicting on each other. This is one of the best articles I’ve read in a long time about keeping relationships with your significant others alive. This is for teens, those just beginning to date, newly weds, new parents, those falling into disenchantment, as well as those who have grown old together.
Since I have stopped working outside of the home, David and I have a harder time dealing with the things that drive us crazy about the other. At the same time, having been together for a bit over forty years we have learned many of the strategies the article suggests. David is good at some of them and I am good at others. Each has been good enough enough of the time that we are still married. I suspect no one is good at all the strategies and even when good at one or another, not good at any all the time. So it goes.
I would add one thing. It is hinted at, but I would state it strongly. Find time to laugh, play, and enjoy what you can as a couple. I often attribute survival of our years as foster parents–very difficult years particularly on our relationship–to Johnnie Carson’s monologue. We always watched the monologue and sometimes stayed up for the whole show. I also often say I married David because he makes me laugh more than any other person I have had in my life. He says I make him do things he wants to, but doesn’t. The whirlwind trip we just took through the canyons before his surgery is the most recent example. Planning and making certain you share some laughs and fun, keeps you and your relationship strong.
Hope you enjoy the article. Relationships are difficult, but research shows without significant others in our lives, we die sooner and live impoverished lives. So stay strong and work at staying close to those who are the significant others of your life.