What is a Gotcha War? Any argument where the other person tries to make you look like a fool, so s/he seeems virtuous.
I learned about Gotcha Wars as a foster parent caring for troubled teens. Many were dedicated Gotcha Warriors. Why? The cartoon says it all.
Sad feeling fact: bullying usually begins with feeling weak or bad about yourself.
Second sad feeling fact: bullying feels powerful.
Final sad feeling fact: bullying feels particularly powerful when you can get the other to behave badly.
The main strategy for winning any Gotcha War involves minimal or no response. The less you engage someone wanting to fight, the less likely a fight will happen.
Not engaging, however requires strong self soothing skills. So here are two poster coaches that help you create calm when someone wants you to rev up and fight.
Both these exercises need a bit of practice in order to be effective. Don’t expect them to work in the midst of a Gotcha War if you haven’t learned and practiced them before hand.
Thank you for all you do to Practice Kindness. Liking, commenting, or sharing any social media you find helpful is one way to be kind. It may seem like a little, however, doing a little matters a lot.
Thank you Kevin Spear for the cartoon.
Inspired by a Wordpress DAILY PROMPT Showdown at Big Sky How do you handle conflict? Boldly and directly? Or, do you prefer a more subtle approach. As noted above, Winning a Gotcha War demands a subtle approach.