As an old lady with way too much to do and way too little time left, I would be bald from tearing my hair if I hadn’t become a professional procrastinator.
There is always too much to do, particularly when it comes to what you want to do, then the things you must do get in the way. Still they must be done.
Emotional fitness thoughts and tips
This post was inspired by blogger mesardonicmesarcastic asking for help. Here is part of his plea:
I want some help here. I am curious to know how does one manage the posts of over several thousand people. If the point is to engage with other publishers on WordPress and build a community, how do you engage with such mass? …. I’m asking this because there’s a blog that I follow with 42,000 followers.
Also, how do you pick who you follow? Do you follow any and everybody
More generally he asks do you blog about what is popular, or what interests you? The blogger he follows says to post often, but writing blog posts takes time and then if people respond you need to respond back. Same with all social media.
My husband is nearing the limit on Facebook friends. That is essentially the only social media he uses. I think the limit comes when you hit 2000 friends. I haven’t topped 700 there, but I also do twitter, Google, link, and Pinterest. So I may have come close to David in numbers. Too much, to treat respectfully at least in terms of what my remaining time allows and my desire to practice good manners and kindness.
I have been blogging hoping to build a legacy for my third child Emotional Fitness Training, Inc, I had a dream others would become Emotional Fitness Trainers; then they and I would make money by training, licencing, and selling EFTI material. Not happening, not going to happen. The time has come for me to let go of most of that dream.
As I have been known to point out, not all dreams come true. I have been passionate about this dream, worked hard, kept my eye on the prize, but needed more than what I could do alone. So it goes. Other dreams of mine have flourished and I have lived a life beyond my dreams. So I am not complaining.
That said, however, this blogger’s post came as I have been resetting some goals particularly in terms of my desire to leave something of on-going value behind when I leave this world. Here are my tips about dealing with over load.
Tip one: Know your mission and your goals. Your mission is what you want your life to stand for. Your goals are how the things you must or want to do as your life unfolds. And yes, I have an eBook about missions and goals.
Tip two: Get real about your expectations. I rant lots against the Happiness Gurus and their marital partners the “Just Do It” Bonkers. Each seeks money more than your well-being.
My youngest son, early on, poured his heart into getting into the Baseball Hall of Fame as the best first basemen since Keith Hernandez. He did all his Little League coaches asked and more. However, he had little talent for the hitting, running, or catching; he sat on the bench lots. We tried to discourage him, but did not forbid his efforts.
As he told me when he was eleven and quit trying: “There are only 600 major league players and millions of kids like me. I’m not good enough to make the majors.”
He was depressed, but feel to pursue other goals and eventually found a sport he loved and enjoys for the joy it brings. Parents hear that. Teach your children sports are for fun, not just for beating others.
Tip Three: Recognize the choices you make. I do not think we have unlimited free choice; life has its way with us; and sometimes miracles come our way. However, I for one do not know why some prayers are answered and some ignored. Nor do I understand why many bad people seem to be given much and very good people, often seem to get only grief.
I do understand that most of the time we have choice. It may be between what we don’t like and what we hate, but it is choice. You may hate your job, but hate not getting a paycheck to feed your family a bit more that you hate your job.
Tip four: Choose kindness as often as you can, for kindness matters most.
Tip five: Pursue what makes you happy as much as you can, when you can, and how you can.
Tip six; Every once in a while check your progress. Anders Ericsson, skills building expert, notes, developing any skill requires not just practice, but deliberate practice. What is deliberate practice? Regularly scheduled practice that works as measured by improvement.
Many people stumble when it comes to measuring progress. However, rating scales can measure any thing, so start using them. Here are two five point rating scales I use in terms of my goals.
How motivated am I to work regularly on this goal? One is “Everyday all day. “Three as if it is ” I work at it as a job” I put in six or seven hours every work day.” Five is “I do what I can when I can.”
Two is my work paying off? One is “I am actually making money.” Three is “People are following me more” and Five I am not enjoying the work and wonder if I should keep going.”
My answers “I work at it as a job” but “I am not enjoying the work” and after wondering “if I should keep going” I think change is in order.
As much as I love blogging and wanted someone to keep that part of my Emotional Fitness Training business going, that is not going to happen. Boo hoo, but time to think of another goal.
Although my books are not best sellers, people still buy them and keeping them out there will happen at least for a while, even if no one is out there pushing them. So my books remain my best worldly legacy.
So I am in the process of looking at options. My primary goal is to share knowledge I have found useful and I think in terms of a legacy that means eBooks and one or two hard books. If you have thoughts I would appreciate reading them?
Thank you for all you do including liking, commenting, or sharing. Kindness blesses the giver and the receiver.
Links of interest
- Help wanted (mesardonicmesarcastic.wordpress.com)
- Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
- 12 Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (amazon.com)
Daily Post Sept 15, 2014 Daily Prompt Overload Alert: “Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense.” — Gertrude Stein
Do you agree?
I so agree and we all need to stop and think harder and deeper. That is what Emotional Fitness Training wants to help you do.
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