How to Forgive and Go On – 5 Tips

Yesterday’s post had mega errors. When I read it a few hours after publishing it  and saw the mistakes, I blushed redder than a beet. Had to forgive myself in order to go on.

Forgive yourself

I know my loyal fans are forgiving. Thank you.

I know those reading me for the first time, probably never read past the title. Which said, 5 Tips for Living and While Waiting to Die. One little misplaced word and my dysgraphia was on display.  That was bad enough, but the post had lots of other little errors. I have corrected them now, at least the ones I managed to see. Sigh.

The shame created by my dysgraphia happens all too often.  Every day when I put finger to keyboard and press to publish something I wrote, I face possible  humiliation particularly by spelling purists and grammarians, but also by my inner critic.

What is dysgraphia?  A brain glitch that interferes with many writing related tasks.  For some it means sloppy hand writing.  For others it means difficulty organizing the thoughts in your head so you can get them on to paper clearly and easily.

For me, dysgraphia means not being able to see spelling errors  when I write.  A simple word like “the” becomes hte, eth, het; “now” becomes not; “not” becomes now: “ever” becomes “never” or even “revere.”

Moreover, as I have aged my brain often  decides it knows better than I what word I am trying to write.  This means I might be wanting to write “thank you” but my brain decides I mean “thoughtful.” Not helpful.

Spell checker only helps some of the time and with some words. Dictionaries help only when I have some idea about how a word might be spelled. I also punctuate erratically and garble words – other parts of the dysgraphia mix

But I cannot not write, so here I am.

In case  you wonder, I do not suffer from the better known learning disability Dyslexia.  I am a rapid and voracious reader.   Nor have  I ever suffered from writer’s block.

I have become a published author only by the grace of those who did not stop reading when hit over the head with one of my errors.  I joke that I kill editors. At least three who have helped me have stopped editing and pursued other careers.

Let me say here, I know that for some people finding spelling and punctuation errors is a visceral blow to their being; such  errors can and do create physical pain. To keep from hurting, some  read no further after a sentence or two.  I understand.

We all have one or another way of being that leads us down the road of shame. Here are my tips for going on when that happens. .

EMOTIONAL FITNESS training TIPS

Emotional Fitness Training tip one:  Remember what matters and that is trying to make the world better for all by treating as you want to be treated. Nothing is more important for your emotional survival.  

Emotional Fitness Training tip two:  Own how you let others hurt you. When you are victimized by another person’s automatic dismissal of you, you have to deal with your pain; you own it. you can let it consume you, destroy you, or you can let it go.

Albert Ellis  of Rational Emotional Behavioral Therapy said, “The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.”

My mother always  said when another cRemember what matters.  alled me names, “Suck it up, Buttercup.”

She meant it was my responsibility to deal with name calling, I could let it hurt or let it go.

Emotional Fitness Training tip three: Self soothing skills help you keep other people’s emotional slings and arrows from entering your heart. As Captain Kirk noted when being attacked from  the outside, “Shields up, Scotty.”

Just as no good deed goes unpunished, few problems are without a good side. The good side to my dysgraphia? I had to learn lots about self-soothing and that morphed into Emotional Fitness Training.  Go to my Three Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises for an introduction to some self-soothing exercises or better yet buy my eBook. Self-Soothing How to Create Calm in Your Life.  It costs less than a latte and has been well edited.

Emotional Fitness Training tip four: Do not ask the impossible of another or yourself.  Those asking me to spell properly or expecting perfect punctuation, ask the impossible of me. Expecting the same of myself is also expecting the impossible.

Emotional Fitness Training tip five:  Dream your dreams but check reality. Be realistic about your strengths and your weakness. Do not try out for American Idol, if the only place your singing is tolerated is in the shower.

My dream was to become a writer. That seemed impossible until word processing eased some of the problems of dysgraphia.  Aging is bringing me to the point where I will have to stop writing to publish. My dysgraphia is growing worse.  But I will carry on for a bit longer because many of you are forgiving and encourage me with likes and comments.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Remember sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Didn’t like it?  Comment and tell me why and how to improve

Thank you.

Katherine

This blog post  was not inspired by this WordPress DAILY PROMPT — Mix Tape Masterpiece- You make a new friend. Make them a mix tape (or playlist, for the younger folks) that tells them who you are through song.

However, I it did make me think about the  ten plus songs that have stayed in my head. My hearing loss means I can no longer really hear them.

  1. Both Sides Now
  2. Song, Sung Blue
  3. You’ll Never Walk Alone
  4. Amazing Grace
  5. The %9th Street Bridge Song
  6. Beethoven’s Ninth
  7. On the Road Again
  8. Carmen
  9. Rochmaninoff’s Rapsody On a Theme of Paganni
  10. Stand by Me

Then there are the many songs from the musicals Fiddler on the Roof, Camelot, South Pacific, and Oklahoma

I miss music, in is a great comfort, but at least I can still sing many of these to myself and that is a useful way to drown out negative self talk and keep on going.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

2 Comments

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