A major aspect of Emotional Intelligence lies in the ability to let go of hurts and grudges. Here are three steps that make forgiveness possible.
The more we can acknowledge our mistakes and frailties, the more we can forgive.
Hurt is a signal that something is wrong. One can forgive others for being weak, for handling their hurt in ways that hurt others. However, as many have noted, forgiveness does not mean you are granting permission to anyone, yourself included, to abuse another.
A wise way to seek to change unacceptable behavior is to seek the lesson such behavior often holds. Maybe, the lesson is a relationship has to be ended; maybe the lesson is you need to practiced kindness more.
Finally, our current society has encouraged victimhood. Think of efforts to only praise children or make sure every child participating in a sport gets a trophy. Life is learning to lose some times and some things.
Think of efforts to rid our language of words that others find offensive. Jokes are a good example. I make Martian jokes, not jokes about groups of people. At the same time a joke is a joke and if it is in poor taste, that should be the teller’s problem, not yours.
Remember the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”
Not always true, and in many cases learning to “Suck it up, buttercup” might be better than letting hurtful words into your heart.
Thank you for all you do to Practice Kindness. Liking, commenting, or sharing any social media you find helpful is one way to be kind. It may seem like a little, however, doing a little matters a lot.
The above Poster Coach is available for a free download at the EFTI Store.
Obviously, I believe in forgiveness, It is one of the Daily 12 Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises. Still I agree with Bishop Tutu that forgiving does not mean forgetting or even staying in relationship with the person who hurts you.
As author Richelle E. Goodrich notes, “Forgive and forget is the divine ideal. Grappling with the hurt while biting your tongue and struggling to refuse justifiable vengeance―that’s closer to human reality.”
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