How To Get Real And Improve Your Emotional Intelligence.

Cartoon: Making too nice.

Making nice-nice all the time is dishonest, secretive, and not just what politicians do. We all do it. But just as too much sugar is not good for our bodies, too much nice-nice is not good for our hearts or our emotional well-being. Nor is being mean all the time. The better way? Saying what you need to say, but not saying it mean.

What you need to say usually involves your passions. What you feel strongest about.

Daniel Goleman, the author of Emotional Intelligence,Why It Can Matter More Than I.Q. says don’t make nice -nice about what arouses your passions: “When I say manage emotions, I only mean the really distressing, incapacitating emotions. Feeling emotions is what makes life rich. You need your passions.”

Politicians make nice-nice to get your vote. We do it from fear of conflict or having been taught, “If you cannot say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” If that is you, here are three easy ways to start getting real.

First way? Say nothing at all, do not smile, do not nod, do raise your eyebrows so your body language does not convey approval.

Second way? Simply say, “I disagree.” Do so without raising your voice and keeping your body language neutral.

Third way? Do not get pulled into a Gotcha War. Some people like to argue and think they have won if they can make you angry or feeling stupid. Read this Wikihow to learn how to avoid being trapped in a Gotcha War. 

All of the above  is more easily done if you have strong self-soothing skills. So think of buying my e-book Self Soothing Create Calm in Your Life .  Better than a latte and costs less.

Or download this free Tiny eBook, Creating Calm. 

Thank you and stay strong: Practice Kindness right now by liking, commenting, or sharing this and other EFT posts, free downloads, or other products.

Katherine

 

Agree or disagree, comments are always welcomed.