How to Hold onto the Good

Holidays are for creating good memories. Good memories  help you hold on to all that is good.  This EFT exercise strengthens the good ones.

Good memories

Because our brains are survival based, bad memories are more firmly embedded than good ones.  What makes it worse is the bad ones often come on like 911 calls.  What to do?

Emotional Fitness Training Tips

Tip one: create and keep a  memory book.   Life is often a struggle.  A Memory Book honors our struggles, reminds us we are strong and helps us hold onto the good.  A Memory Book is more than a photograph album. A Memory Book is a way of making sense of life and how it changes.

Some Memory Books are one page long, others hold only a few pages stapled together, others cover a life time and get housed in expensive leather covers.

Size is not as important as what the book holds. One page holding the right memories is often worth more than a hundred pages of pictures that carry little meaning. A picture is worth a 1000 words but pictures plus some words are priceless.

Tip two:  Create a good memory brain file so you can draw on your good memories when needed. This is done by creating some sanctuaries, first in your home, and then in your mind. 

safe place (2)

Tip three: Use the above tips to regularly  practice EFT’s Hold On to the Good Exercise.  Here are the steps to that exercise:

  1. Go to a physical sanctuary.  Some think of their bed as a sanctuary and do this exercise at night before falling asleep.
  2. Consciously relax by spending a minute tensing and then releasing all your body. Start at your head and work down section by section.
  3. Take a Calming Breath.
  4. Go to your Imaginary Sanctuary.  For some this is best done by picturing it in your mind; others do better describing themselves there.
  5. Review the day.  Say good-by to the bad things, embrace all that was good.
  6. Take a Calming Breath when you are ready to end the exercise.


Parenting tip one:  Parents start a child’s Memory Book, but as soon as  possible, the child should be part of creating hers or his Memory Books, These will often be a page or a smaller book.  When collected these pages and smaller books become larger Memory Books  or become part of a Family’s Memory Book.

Memory Books can be made for many things–baby’s first day home, first steps, special people, special days, ordinary days, marriages, graduations, vacations, all good things.

Parenting tip two:  Parents must keep  Memory Books safe. Some teens have thrown away a Memory Book and in time, deeply regretted doing so.

 Parenting tip three: Include bad times once they have passed for bad times teach lessons.  The lessons?  Bad times that have passed teach the idea that life is full of change, good times come and then go; the same with bad times.  Second lesson: how strong we are.   .

THANK YOu for All you do

Remember’s sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Thank you.



These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (
The five components of Emotional Intelligence ( Intelligence ( Fitness Tips for Parents  (
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(


  1. When my brother died at age 19, our family was devastated. I´ll never forget what the kind pastor said to us, “God gave us memories so we can have roses in December.” I so believe in fostering good memories. Thanks for this meaningful post.

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