You need caring people in your life to stay emotionally fit. Do this EFTI Circle of Care Exercise to see who you can rely on for what. First some funny quotes.
CIRCLE OF CARE EXERCISE
Everyone needs people in their lives willing to help when help is needed. Some have lots of people, some only a few, and very few feel no one is there for them. The people who are there fore you are best thought about as belonging in one of three Circles of Care
Here are the steps for figuring out your Circles of Care.
1. Take a sheet of paper and draw three circles one inside the other like this:Use the whole sheet of paper.
2. Fill out the circles according to the following ratings:
The first or inner circle is for extended supportive family members and friends. These t can be counted on to be there with support and concrete help whenever and whatever support is needed that they can provide and to do so without hesitation. Treasure these, they are few and far between.
The second circle is for those including family or close friends as well as neighbors, and other people who offer support at a lower level than your inner circle. These might be friends who will always offer emotional support, but will not or cannot lend you money or come to your rescue if your car broke down.
The third circle is for people involved with you because of an official role, and who the you feel are caring. Might include a teacher, the secretary in your doctor’s office, come of your doctors, coaches, bosses, co-workers, the cop on the beat, an auto mechanic.
Outside of the Circles are those people who cannot be trusted enough to go to help in any way. These include people from the family, the neighborhood, work, even your place of worship, and of course professionals you must interact with.
Why rate friends this way? Because it keeps your expectations reality based. On to the tips related to your Circle of Care:
Emotional Fitness tip one: You do not need a gang of people in your Inner Circle. The mental health professionals think one or two are enough to keep you strong. With the Second Circle the more the better.
Emotional Fitness tip two: Where did you put yourself? You need to make sure you care enough for yourself to be in your Inner Circle. No one else can do for you as much as you can do for yourself.
Emotional Fitness tip three: Did you put God somewhere? For many God belongs in the Inner Circle. For agnostics in the Second Circle, for atheists not anywhere. If atheist who do you rely on for spiritual and moral guidance.
Emotional Fitness tip four: Some people put pets in their Inner Circle, they belong mostly in the Second Circle even trained Service Dogs who do take on some specific concrete tasks.
Emotional Fitness tip five: Treat all in your first two circles with kindness and care, doing so might even see one or two moving up to the inner circle.
Emotional Fitness tip six: The fewer people in the first two circles, the more you need to work to add some. This might mean seeking therapy. Shy and introverted people who have a hard time making friends would find Cognitive Behavioral Therapy useful. Another group of people who should think about therapy are the angry ones. Therapy has a bad reputation, but a competent therapist is someone to add to your third circle of care.
You are responsible for staying in your child’s inner circle of care, particularly during his or her growing up years. This means patience, knowing how children feel and think, teaching manners, self-soothing exercises, practicing kindness, knowing what matters, and forgiveness of self and others. Hard work, but worth the effort.
IMPROVE YOUR CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS
The heart of emotional intelligence is the ability to know what your heart tells you to do, but then partnering with your thinking skills so you make the best decision possible. I use Daily Prompts to help me think more critically. Here’s today’s.
DAILY PROMPT Circle of Five A writer once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” If this is true, which five people would you like to spend your time with?
I had no idea what to blog about this morning. Can you see how this Daily Prompt lead to this post.
LINKS OF INTEREST
- Why We Need Friends (psychologytoday.com
- The Importance of Friends (mayoclinic.org)
- Temperament (b-di.com)
Don’t think you can afford a life coach? Like a life coach, EFTI’s poster coaches inspire, teach, motivate, and reinforce thinking about what matters. To use, print up in color and post there it will be seen often. Poster Coaches can also be used at family, staff meetings, in classes to motivate or spark discussions.
THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO
Keep working to stay strong, I work hard to do the same. Like daily physical fitness keeps you strong, practicing some Emotional Fitness Training Exercises keeps you emotionally strong.
Remember’s sharing is caring and the easiest way to Practice Kindness (an easy Emotional Fitness Exercise is to share this post if you found it helpful. Thank you.