A post about staying in control when another gives you an ultimatum that erodes your #emotionalintelligence and ability to stay calm.
Angry cat declare's war

Thank you

The post is also about keeping stress and other negative feelings from putting you on the attack so declare war.  It  was inspired by this Word Press  Daily Prompt: With you or with out you: Tell us about the time you threw down the gauntlet and drew the proverbial line in the sand by giving someone an ultimatum.

Emotional Fitness Thoughts

The experts know stress arouses negative feelings and negative thoughts.  They also know we are 3 to 5 times more aware of the negatives of life than the positive things. Not helpful.

Also not helpful that our brains are hard wired to save us during emergencies, but not able to easily tell the difference between a true 911 emergence and false alarms.  When a bad, mad, or sad feeling grows strong it can and frequently hi-jacks our brains making us react instinctively and that generally means fighting or running away.


Three Emotional Fitness Skills build your ability to keep your brain from being hi-jacked:  Feeling Awareness, Self-soothing, and Remembering What Matters.

Tip one: Improve your Feeling Awareness by taking your feeling temperature off and on during the day. Because stress is  a big part of modern life,  use this feeling thermometer:

#emotionalintelligence blog post #anger management feeling thermometer

This is available as a free digital download Poster Coach at the EFTI Store. Print it up and post where you will see it throughout your day to boost your awareness of what you are feeling.

Tip Two Improve your self-soothing skills.  Research shows that meditation  is one of the more effective self-soothing skills. EFTI’s One Minute Mediation (OMM) is a quick and easy path to meditating.  Here is another of EFTI’s Free Poster Coaches detailing how to practice OMM .Instructions for a one minute meditation to improve your emotional fitness.Tip Three:  Remember what matters.  Too much of what we fuss and fume about is small stuff.  What really matters is practicing kindness to all we meet, and being grateful for all we have. 


As always thank you for all you do to support EFTI’s efforts to help others stay strong. Kindness is karma and comes back to bless you. Care and share.




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