How To Use Choice to Control Your Life

Some say we have too many choices – too many offers, too much media hype, too many things to do.  True, but owning your  choices  gives you control.

Poster quote about choice

You don’t get to choose all in this life.  Bolts of lightening come out of the blue, disease strikes, accidents happen, others take us to war, some hold us captive.  But  life also offers happier choices.

Be grateful when you are able to choose  the good things of life.  

Be just as grateful when your choices are not as painful as Pasternak recounts. Too many of us complain about not being thin enough or buff enough or owning this or that when we have shelter from the storm, clean water, plenty of food and people who love us.

As the song goes, “Who can ask for anything more/”

When things are bad, there remain the choice noted by Vicktor Frankel, concentration camp survivor, who said,  “The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one’s freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance.”

He also said, “But there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.”

So choose, but do not deny that some choices  bring suffering to others.   Think about some of the polarizing issues ranted about on most of Western Media. Here are three:

  1. Cut down military spending. Good intention, but strengthens those who would destroy us.
  2. Ban genetically altered food. Another good intention, but most of the food that nourishes us and the world today does so because it has been genetically altered.
  3. Ban all abortions. Good intention, but means more women will die or be maimed.

Emotional Fitness Training Tips

Emotional Fitness Tip One: Think “yes/and” instead of “either/or” to open your mind to thinking more deeply.

Emotional Fitness Tip Two: Know what matters most to you. This means knowing your mission – what you want your life to be about, and your goals. My eBook Know Your Mission So You Can Reach Your Goals puts you on the right track to a good life.  As with all my eBooks, it costs less than a movie and has more value.

Emotional Fitness Tip Three: Look for the truths in views that oppose yours.  There are always truths in a passionate point of view.

Emotional Fitness Tip Four:  Find the middle path on  polarized choices.  

Emotional Fitness Tip Five:  Check out the charities you give to. Many are self serving to the founders, particularly family foundations.

Emotional Fitness Tip Six: As always practice kindness. Particularly  in your small corner of the world where you can be more certain it offers more good than bad.


The younger your child the less s/he can think “yes/and.” You can encourage movement toward that stage of thinking by adding one word to a conversation when a child seems to be trapped on one side of an issue. That word? And. Say it as a question and repeat it at least once after the child has talked a bit more about their side of the issue before pointing out an alternated point of view.

See this recent parenting  blog post “Six Ways to Teach Your Child Control” for  more tips about control.


Remember sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Didn’t like it?  Comment and tell me why and how to improve.


This post was inspired by this WordPress Daily Prompt; Red Pill, Blue Pill by Michelle W. If you could get all the nutrition you needed in a day with a pill — no worrying about what to eat, no food preparation — would you do it?

My response? To follow my own advice about pursuing the middle path. I love cooking some of the time,  hate it others time, and I love the taste of good food. So I would like a pill that I could use for some meals, but the right to cook or eat food when I wanted to.


These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.


Agree or disagree, comments are always welcomed.

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