A blog about the importance of hugs, the real ones and yes, the ones that do not involve actual contact. Hugs strengthen emotional fitness.

Picture of premature twin being hugged by his brother, This picture was taken over 17 years ago and the twins are now at least that old or older. Hugs matter.

This picture was taken over 17 years ago and the twins are now at least that old or older. Hugs matter.


The Transactional Analysts (TA) speak of Warm Fuzzies. The idea started with Claude Steiner, one of the greats of TA.  He gave me a warm fuzzy at one of his workshops with a 30 second comment. No one knew he was speaking directly to me.  He had noticed my painful expression because other people at the workshop were  laughing some  stereotypical pictures of old folks trying to look young.  Steiner had passed them around to make a point about the sadness of trying to be who you are.  At least I think that was the point  he was making to others in the group. He sent a different message to me.

He looked me  in the eye and said,  “Some of us feel other people’s pain when those people feel no pain. ”

The people in the pictures were not being hurt by the laughter in the room. Steiner’s comment helped me moderate my mad, bad, and sad feelings a bit better.

I am still known for being too sensitive.  I am better at moderating my sensitivity for as with  all things sensitivity to other people’s pain – what the experts call empathy – can be over done. Balance is everything.  I try to not let my sensitivity get down on harmless jokes and at the same time speak out when I see damaging cruelty.

Meanwhile,  here is a link about the importance of hugs.

A link to more about the value of hugs. This by blogger John A. Warnick.

The Five Second Hugging Practice – Seedlings.

A quote from the link:

Virginia Satir, a respected family therapist, has said “(w)e need four hugs a day for survival.  We need eight hugs for maintenance.  We need twelves hugs a day for growth.” And, research in a Korea orphanage demonstrated a significant boost in the health and growth of infant orphans who received an extra 15 minutes a day of physical touching.


Tip one: Face to face hugs when wanted by both parties build physical and emotional strength.

Tip two: Be sensitive to those people not able to hug freely. Most were abused or neglected as children.  A few are just super sensitive physically and hugs hurt. The bodies of both groups  stiffen when you try to hug them.

Tip three: Don’t hug children without their permission. The younger the child the more he or she might be okay with hugs, but unwanted hugs feel bad to kids.

Tip four: Give lots of non physical hugs. How? Sincere praise and compliments

Tip five: Even properly delivered criticism can feel like a hug.  Steiner’s felt that way to me.

Tip six:  It only takes a quick key press to send a social media like which is a virtual hug.

An Emotional Fitness Cranky Old Lady Poster

A cranky old lady rant.

Stay strong

Hillel, a sage from long ago, said,  “If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am ‘I’? And if not now, when?” So, this will be a week of posts and reminders about me and my birthday bash.  Here is the agenda

My 76th Birthday bash

This is a grand experiment on my part. I am learning as I go. One thing I have been struggling with is how to keep the posts threaded.  Threading on Facebook is a way you can follow and comment on a specific post that interests you easily.  I particularly  want those people joining the Be With Beauty Contest to be able to post in one place.

Facebook is experimenting with threading and it appears now that only groups allow threading.  So I have established two groups. Be With Beauty and My 76th Birthday Bash and Book Launch.  I have invited a few of you, some who have said they will come to my bash and others I thought might come if there was an easier way.  Hoping this is an easier way.

One friend has already posted on the Be With Beauty Group.  It would help me see if this strategy works if any of you on Facebook would join that group and post a picture of Beauty. Nature pictures only, and must be your own picture.

Finally, watch for a post about the launch of my Newsletter.  I know many of you would prefer fewer posts from me.  The Newsletter will accomplish that.

Thank all of you for supporting me in this experiment and all the other ways you support me.



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