Hope you are hanging in with this lengthy introduction to feeling clues. As noted previously, the earlier you notice a feeling has come calling, the better.
If you wait until anger gets door pounding mad, you are in danger of being bossed and doing something you regret. This is the last of the feeling clues posts.
FEELING FEELING CLUES: Often one feeling starts another feeling. Pain can start anger so can fear. Fear is often fear of a future pain. Uncertainty, a form of fear, can create anger, despair, or depression; blame uncertainty on someone or something else and anger grows; blame it on yourself and depression visits; cannot explain blame or explain and despair comes calling.
TIME RELATED FEELING CLUES: Some feelings only exist at certain times. Getting off to work or school often finds negative feelings gathering. So think about the feeling in question and when it is mostly like to take over.
SITUATIONAL FEELING CLUES: What situations create opportunities for a feeling to gain the upper hand? Social events might make shyness take over. Competative sporting events might give way to aggression. a
ACTIONS: Do you yell, want to break things, or smash your hand against the wall or worse assault someone when angry? Do you makes fists, start to shake, call names? Which of these or other actions do you take when the feeling starts to visit.
FUTURE OUTCOME HOPES: What do you want to be the end result after the feeling comes visiting? Do you fantasize revenge? Do you see yourself as a super hero, right wrongs? Do you see your self staying strong and keeping the feeling from bossing you.? Of course, the last option is the best.
However, here’s something to think more deeply about, thoughts are not actions. Some religions make thoughts and actions equivalent in order to build a bigger wall around problematic actions. Nevertheless, they are not the same. That said, thoughts both serve as a feeling clue and also urge action.
What to do? See thoughts urging unacceptable behaviors. See those as sign to take care, step away. Feelings want action, but the experts say not acting without thinking is best. Very few situations require immediate action. Much more about that later in the course. For now, hone your ability to recognize when a feeling is first visiting you, so you can say walk away.
Here’s a handout to help. Use it to organize your feeling clues regarding the feeling you most want to control.
You will complete future exercises easier and more effectively if you take pen to paper on this one. Remember all the course exercises are available as a free down load at the EFTIstore although it may take a day or two after the post to see them there. Sorry about that. Doing what I can.
How to use feeling clues preventively. As soon as you notice a negative feeling is knocking at your heart or brain, start any of one the 12 Daily Emotional Fitness Exercises. They all sooth and that helps keep negative feelings in their place. You will learn more about these in time, but can get a jump start on them by going to EFT’s Easy Exercises.
Next up. How to decode all the feeling clues so you properly name what is happening.
As always thank you for all you do including liking, commenting, or sharing.
LINKS OF INTEREST
- Becoming a Feeling Detective (amazon.com)
- Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
- WordPress Daily Prompts (wordpress.com)
POST INSPIRATION: DAILY PROMPT
I often use these prompts to spark my posts. They can also be used to improve your critical thinking which is the heart of emotional intelligence.
You can think about them as they are stated or use them to spark other thoughts which is what I usually do. Most can be related to Emotional Fitness. How? Well here is the prompt that connects to this post. I’ll answer it and tell you how I relate it to Emotional Fitness.
Circuitous Paths A stranger knocks on your door, asking for directions from your home to the closest gas station (or café, or library. Your pick!). Instead of the fastest and shortest route, give him/her the one involving the most fun detours.
How this relates to emotional fitness and today’s post. Feelings often take circuitous paths in their efforts to gain entry. Often the best way to subvert such a feeling is find something to laugh about; other useful control efforts involve being kind or looking for the lesson to be learned.
Go to the EFTI store and browse its offerings for inspirational quotes or exercises. Go there and subscribe to be notified of new additions.
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Thank you and stay strong.