When you want another to change and they will not or cannot, the soil is fertile for a will struggle. Often leads to a Gotcha War and the need to defend yourself.
When you can do the above, the other person often sputters, is somewhat roasted in his own stew, and hopefully walks away. Sometimes, miracles happen and a useful conversation ensues. What the gurus call a win/win situation.
Rarely, but occasionally, Gotcha Wars can end with physical blows. A sign more than emotional fitness is needed. Sometimes the need for more is therapy or family counseling; but often the first need might be the police or 911. Remember “Safety First” is EFT’s mantra.
Being able to defuse another person’s anger is part of being a caring Gotcha Warrior. Here is another poster coach about defusing anger.
Teens often try to get parents into Gotcha Wars. Sometimes it a just need to save face with peers. I remember being told by one of my sons that he called me to asked to be let off grounding so his friends could hear me go ballistic. I didn’t, he was serving his last day and had been super good. All good parental deeds get punished.
Gotcha wars are also a sign of feeling powerless and over controlled. Teens often feel that way.
The tips above help. But what also helps is instilling manners at an early age. Manners matter because they teach respect and respect is a tool to keep all safe and out of Gotcha Wars.
POST INSPIRATION: DAILY PROMPT
I often use these prompts to spark my posts. They work to improve critical thinking – the heart of emotional intelligence. You can think about the prompts as stated or use them to spark other thoughts which is what I usually do. If I put on my thinking cap the prompts can be related to Emotional Fitness. Here’s how I did that for this post.
DAILY PROMPT – Salad Days: Is there a period in your own personal life that you think of as the good old days? Tell us a story about those innocent and/or exciting times (or lack thereof).
I remember many salad days, but most came as I learned how to deal with other people’s anger. Anger is a fact of life and hurtful when directed your way, but only when you handle so it hurts you.
All the handouts and poster coaches for this course are being posted at the store so you can download them for free.
Apologies if you cannot find one. I am a Jill of all in this business, so some things take longer than others. If something used here isn’t posted yet, you will find lots of other offerings including inspirational quotes or more EFTI exercises. In time all will be posted.
LINKS OF INTEREST
- How to Win a Gotcha War (wikihow.com)
- The Power of an Apology (psychologytoday.com)
- Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
Please rate this material. Doing so helps me ratings. This is what your stars will mean to me. No stars – Not helpful; One star – Reinforced my knowledge – Two Stars; New information – Three stars; New useful information; Four stars – Very good; Five stars – Excellent.
Thank you and work at staying strong until next time,. I work hard to do the same as life is often difficult but staying strong lets me find the good.