How To Stop Being A Copycat

Quotes about style

Are you a slave to fashion? Do the retailers love you? Or are you you? What’s your uniform? My favorite on remains jeans and a shirt, white or bright-colored.  Sometimes I tuck the shirt in, sometimes not.  I was the first woman to wear pants as a professor at Columbia University School of Social Work. Not that I do not respect the need to be more formal or to wear a skirt on occasion. Fashion is an interest, but not an obsession. I pick and chose. Do the same.

How did I come to be a bit immune to fashion? I was something of a freak during my adolescence. My growth spurt took me to 5′ 11″ and 1/2 inches by the time I entered sixth grade. I towered over all the boys and a few of the male teachers. Moreover, I was skinnier than Twiggy at a day and age when Marilyn Monroe was the fashion icon.

When I complained to my mother about being asked repeatedly “How’s the weather up there?” she told me to “Spit in their eye and tell them its raining.”

She knew I was too shy and well-mannered to do  that, but it did become my inner voice’s response to such remarks. Helped lots.

I was lucky to be different and that my mother taught me to scorn other people’s opinions. True that started with putting up a good front. But one fact of how we become who we are remains behaving the way we want to be long before we get there.

I have a friend, I admire for her very real fashion sense. Her uniform is very simple and very much her. Always black shirt, black pants or skirts. Always the same timeless style.  I try for that, but David dear wants more color and more variety and hates all black.

Fact: We are programmed to be copycats.  That is the Creator’s plan to help children learn to walk, talk, and do all the other things adults do. However, being adult means thinking not just copying.

Fact: We all wear uniforms. Even the poorest of the poor have a uniform, not one of their own making, but of poverty’s making. Why is this? Because we are social creatures. We have a deep-seated need to be part of the crowd.

Uniforms  show the role we have picked for ourselves, if we picked. For the danger of being a copy cat is being a slave to one fashion or another. One of my roles is pleasing people and that is why I wear colors. I want to please my husband

Our costumes also help us rank each other. Ranking ourselves would be fine if we ranked our behavior more than our outer trappings.  But that tends to get lost in the fashions proclaiming our riches or our status. Think Kings and Popes, Queens and Generals. Crowns, Metals, and Jewel.

What to do? Try these tips.

Emotional Fitness Training  Tips

Tip one: Remember What Matters. What matters is always how you treat others for that is the reflection of who you really are. Practice kindness.

Tip two: Be grateful for all you have been given. You are truly among the privileged class if you can afford to follow fashion.

Tip three:  Own your choices. Think about what you are saying with your fashion choices. Tattoos say one thing, modest dressing another. .

Tip four: Do it within your means. Lots of money? Do not be a bargain hunter. The people who work in the fashion industry need you to buy at the highest possible price.

On a limited income: Go for the discounts, the consignment shops, the thrift stores.  That is where I do more and more of my shopping.

Tip five: Practice imperfection. My hair is now a lovely silver, but that did meant enduring a period of mousiness when the brown was turning gray.

Coehol's story of Narcissus

Thank you for all you do

Remember to share all you find of value on the internet.  All who post crave recognition. A like says “Thank You.” Comments say you have read and thought about the post. Sharing is a gift to three people: the blogger, the people you share with, and you for your kindness blesses you.

Stay strong, it takes some effort for life is sometimes a painful struggle.


Post Inspiration: This post was not inspired  by the WordPress Daily  Prompt: Copycat.

Go here to learn more about the Daily Prompts.

Links of Interest

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Even the most learned researchers and therapists quarrel about much.  Take their advice and mine carefully.  Don’t just listen to your heart, but also think; don’t just think, listen to your heart.  Heart and head working together increase the odds you will find useful advice amid all the promises and hopes pushed at you be others.  As others have noted, take what seems useful, leave the rest.

Disclaimer two: Forgive my grammatical errors

If  you need perfect posts, you will not find them  here;  I will understand if you don’t follow, like or share what  like me.  Not only am I dealing with an aging brain, but all of my life I have been plagued by dysgraphia–a learning disability,  Some of my posts might be peppered with bad spelling, poor punctuation, and worse words that make no sense.  If  you want to hang in with me, thank you; you are kind. If a post doesn’t make sense or bugs you too much, stop reading, I will understand.




These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.


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