We live in dangerous times; times made more dangerous by how people handle opinions that disagree with theirs.
Emotional Fitness Training Thoughts
First a story:
A woman called her psychiatrist in the middle of the night, after an argument with her husband. He had berated her, saying she was an awful mother and a worse wife.
As she was complaining, the psychiatrist cut her off and said, “I just want you to know that the scar you have running across your forehead and down your left cheek is both ugly and offensive.”
The woman replied, “What are you talking about? I don’t have any scars on my face.”
“So did my comment hurt you?” asked the psychiatrist.
The woman replied, “Of course not, I have no scars on my face.”
“My comment was as false as your husband’s remarks are. You let them hurt you because you believe them.”
This story was attributed to Abraham Twerski, MD, a Rabbi and a Psychiatrist specializing in addictions. He asks us to think about the reality of other people’s opinions of us and to dismiss the ones that aren’t true. Possible, but hard to do.
Emotional Fitness Training Tips
Tip one: Opinions are not facts. They are assumptions and as someone once said, “When you assume something about m, you make an ass of you and me.”
Tip two: Some when their opinions are contradicted get angry. Anger is a cover-up emotion hiding pain, fear or fear of pain. Just being wrong is painful as is fear of being wrong.
Tip three. Some do not get angry but take the negative opinion others throw at them to heart.
Tip four: When someone throws an opinion about you at you, do a reality check, Is the opinion true? Partially true? If true or partially true, how much does it matter? If it matters lots work toward making it false. If it doesn’t matter let it go.IF If it is false, let it go.
Tip five: Changing your negative self-talk helps you let go. Why the saying “Not my circus, not my monkeys” helps.
Tip six: Strengthen all your self-soothing skills. You might want to buy my e-Book Self-soothing to Create Calm in Your Life.
Thank you for all you do
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Links Of Interest
Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
- An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents (amazon.com