How To Think Smarter: Use Rating Scales

How to rate anything so you think clearer and more critically.

More Emotional Fitness Thoughts

About Emotional Abuse: Everyone abuses others emotionally at one time or another.  Everyone likes to be in control and both physical and emotional start in the need to control someone else. That said, the emotional abuser uses feelings to hurt and foster control, although some may also get physical.  Common signs of emotional abuse include:

  • Yelling
  • Name calling, insults,  mocking, and swearing at
  • Threats and intimidation
  • Ignoring
  • Humiliating
  • Blaming
  • Controlling finances
  • Denigration family and friends
  • Attempting to isolate from family and friends
  • Denying being abusive or emotionally hurtful

One key, however, remains how often the abuse occurs. John Gottman’s research suggests that healthy relationships are based on a five to one ratio. Five positive interactions for every bad one.

When confused about what to do start with your primary care doctor. Then check his or her advice out with one of the many crises and helplines. Here are some to start with: USA Suicide Hotline 1-800-784-2433; USA Domestic Violence  800-787-3224;  USA Child Abuse 800 422-4453.

Share this post if you found it helpful

Every share helps me, you, and those you share with.The Suicide Hot Line is one. Their mission is to prevent suicide and they want you to call about any ongoing worry. Let them tell you what to really worry about and where to go for help. worries. Their number:

All our exercises are best practiced with full awareness. To become more fully aware, before and after an exercise take a Calming Breath, (Breathe in slowly, hold your breath until some tension builds; then breathe out slowly, smile gently and say a silent “Thank You”). 

Thank you for all you do.

Katherine 

Links of Interest

 

Think About This: Good Thoughts vs Good Actions

Shakespeare quote about good thoughts vs actions

All our exercises are best practiced with full awareness. To become more fully aware, before and after an exercise take a Calming Breath, (Breathe in slowly, hold your breath until some tension builds; then breathe out slowly, smile gently and say a silent “Thank You”). 

Share this post if you found it helpful. Every share helps me, you, and those you share with.

Thank you for all you do.

Katherine 

Links of Interest

 

Need A Safe Place? Create Your Own

                If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden,

                   Frances Hodgson Burnett.         

Creating a safe place in your mind and teaching your child to do the same means finding a garden when needed. A better way to deal with the fears being promoted by so many that seeking physical safe places.  Here’s how to create your personal safe place:

  1. Start with memories from your childhood. When did you feel safest? On your father’s lap? In your mother’s arm? Lucky you; but it might also have been hiding under your bed when your parent’s quarreled. I always felt safe lying under a tree and looking up at the sun filtered by the leaves.
  2. Build on the memories by describing, preferable in writing, a more fanciful and imaginative safe place. Here’s mine: “I am lying on the ground, but the earth beneath me is soft and warm like the feel of my mother’s arms around me, the air is full of her remembered perfume. I am looking up at the sky through the branches of a tree, but also beyond the tree. The sun is shining, the sky is a soft blue, with tints of gold, purple, and pink. I hear the sweet warbling of a bird.  All is peace, beauty, and calm.”
  3. Experiment until you find just the right combination of memories and imaginings.
  4. Once you have created your perfect safe place, start embedding it in your brain. That means finding at least three times a day when you are already feeling calm and safe. Some find one of those times when first waking up in the morning, and a second time at night as waiting to fall asleep. The third time can be anytime or place that you feel calm and safe.  Gradually, go to your safe place when feeling a bit stressed. In time and with practice enough, you will find safety almost everywhere you go, and no matter what you are dealing with.

Going to your safe place is an Emotional Fitness Exercise. All our exercises are best practiced with full awareness. To become more fully aware, before and after an exercise take a Calming Breath, (Breathe in slowly, hold your breath until some tension builds; then breathe out slowly, smile gently and say a silent “Thank You”). 

Share this post if you found it helpful. Every share helps me, you, and those you share with.

Thank you for all you do.

Katherine 

Links of Interest

 

Hope: A Poem By Carl Sandburg

The more pain, the less hope. What to do? Know that all is change, pleasure ends, pain ends; pleasure returns and then ends again. Here now is all we have with one exception – here now becomes yesterday and a new here now blossoms. Here now is this minute, but now is the next. Hope on.

Thank you for all you do. Practice Kindness and share, comment or like this post. Go here for An introduction to Emotional Fitness Training.

Katherine

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