Forgiveness is the first step to letting go of what is not in your power to control. These three steps help you forgive.
Warning: Forgiveness can only start after safety is established.
Once safety is extablished, past hurts keep hurting only when you keep the hurt alive. However, sending such hurts to the grave requires effort. Practicing a daily forgiveness exercise is important.
Review the day. Maybe some hurt or anger lingers on from when someone said something unkind. Did someone treat you unfairly? Take without giving in return? Break a promise? Betray a hope? Embarrass you in public? Say or do something cruel?
Perhaps the negative you need to let go of is some wrong you did. Maybe you treated another unfairly. Maybe you were angry or thoughtless and now regret your actions. When you need forgiveness, it means stopping the wrongful behavior, not repeating it and making amends.
Part of being able to forgive yourself or another involves letting go of pain. Pain teaches important lessons. Pain reminds us to keep our hands out of the fire. Pain reminds us to enjoy the good when it comes. Pain reminds us to be careful about expecting more than we, another, or life can deliver. Think lessons, not punishment.
So pain hurts, but it also brings its gifts. Honor those gifts, let go of the rest. Take a deep breath. Smile. Breathe in and out. The past is over. See the person who hurt you asking forgiveness. See the person you hurt forgiving you. Forgive—if not completely, then as much as you can and then let go.
We all fail to do or be our best. We all make mistakes. We all need forgiveness for one thing or another. Practicing forgiveness strengthens you and add to peace on earth.
As Gandhi wisely noted, “Only the strong can forgive.”
For an amazing example of forgiveness read this. The Amish Way of Forgiveness. Few of us reach this level, but reaching toward it helps all.
Emotional Fitness Tips
Tip one: Part of forgiveness is restoring the relationship. This is best accomplished as John Gottman proved in his research, by having five positive interactions for each negative maintains healthy relationships.
.Tip two: Always ask to be forgiven when you have done wrong. Always.
Tip three: Always remember what matters. Do not make too much of the small hurts of life.
Thank you for all you do
Remember to share all you find of value on the internet. All who post crave recognition. A like says “Thank You.” Comments say you have read and thought about the post. Sharing is a gift to three people: the blogger, the people you share with, and you for your kindness blesses you.
Post Inspiration: This post was inspired by the Jewish Holiday of Yom Kippur, in which Jews ask God to forgive all sins and not by a WordPress Daily Prompt: Original. However, the banishment from Eden was the punishment for original sin, but with it was offered the possibility of redemption.
Links of Interest
These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.
- Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
- The five components of emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
- About Emotional Fitness Training (emotionalfitnesstraining.com)
- An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents (amazon.com)
Even the most learned researchers and therapists quarrel about much. Take their advice and mine carefully. Don’t just listen to your heart, but also think; don’t just think, listen to your heart. Heart and head working together increase the odds you will find useful advice amid all the promises and hopes pushed at you be others. As others have noted, take what seems useful, leave the rest.
Disclaimer two: Forgive my grammatical errors
If you need perfect posts, you will not find them here; I will understand if you don’t follow, like or share what like me. Not only am I dealing with an aging brain, but all of my life I have been plagued by dysgraphia–a learning disability, Some of my posts might be peppered with bad spelling, poor punctuation, and worse words that make no sense. If you want to hang in with me, thank you; you are kind. If a post doesn’t make sense or bugs you too much, stop reading, I will understand.