SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, BUT DON’T SAY IT MEAN – Six EFTI Tips

Even when you do not say it mean, you risk friendships. Ask me, I know.

feedback

This poster by my friend at Gaping Void prompted me to post a bit about feedback.  Feedback is a way to say what needs saying so it might be heard.

feedback rules

Warning: Getting a Ph.D. in the art of providing feedback is no guarantee your wise observations, meant only to help, will be heard and accepted. Such is life, so are people. 

Emotional Fitness Tips

Tip one. Make sure it needs saying. If you hate purple hair and your best friend recently  turned her crowning glory purple, no need to comment, none at all. The same friend is too drunk to drive, you are obligated to grab her car keys and drive her home.

Tip two: Use  the “Three Strikes, Three Outs” rule when deciding if something needs saying. You might even want to think about a nine innings before venturing to say something.

Tip three: Timing is everything. The example dealt with a here and now issue, but often it is best for sensitive honesty to be carefully timed. 

Tip four: Sometimes a letter says it best.

Tip five: Beat a hasty retreat if the person cannot handle what you are saying.  Apologise instantly and change the subject.

Tip six: Practice John Gottman’s Five in One Rule after offering feedback by making sure your next five interactions are positive ones.  

As Henry David Thoreau noted, “True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance.”

But true friendship also knows when to ignore a friend’s flaws and foibles.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Remember  to be kind to me. Sharing is caring; so is liking, or commenting. Your caring is an act of kindness that keeps me moving forward.

Katherine

P.S. For an easy link to my newest eBook Cross Train Your Brain with 12 Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises click go to the EFTI Free stuff on this blog’s sidebar. It will take you straight to a PDF download of the book.

I am hoping some of you will read it and send me a comment that I can use to promote the book when it goes on sale as of March 1st.

POST INSPIRATION 

This post was inspired by Gaping Void poster and this WordPress DAILY PROMPT:  Mad Libs:Turn to your co-workers, kids, Facebook friends, family — anyone who’s accessible — and ask them to suggest an article, an adjective, and a noun. There’s your post title! Now write.

I turned to my eMail and used the Gaping Void poster as my inspiration.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (www.emotionalfitnesstraining.com)
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)EmotionalIntelligence (en.wikipedia.org)

Emotional Fitness Tips for Parents  (parentsarepeopletoo.com)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

 

2 Comments

Agree or disagree, comments are always welcomed.