Change comes slowly, particularly when you want another to change. First step? Letting them know you want something to change. Start with feedback.
Feedback is the best way to offer criticism; As pundit Franklin P. Jones notes: “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.”
Feedback does not directly criticize. Moreover, it leaves the option of responding to the other person. This fact makes it more likely the other person will do what you want. Just as most people do not like criticism most people do not like being told what to do.
When feedback does not work immediately, try Broken Record. Pick one point, and repeat it adding a bit of anger with each repetition.
Next step would be the STOP PLAN. Although developed for children, works with adults also. Here the Poster Coach for that one.
All parents are experimental scientists. What works for one child fails if applied to all. A frown punishes one child, a yell another, and some need a swat on a diapered rear-end. Swats are not abuse, please remember that. Punishments are not abuse. Abuse is inflicting tissue damage, leaving a mark – even finger prints from a slap could land you with child abuse charges.
Punishment means pain inflicted after an unwanted behavior. For a very sensitive child, a frown can be punishing.
A wise man by the name of Gregory Bateson, said “Communication is response.”
Which is why parents have to be experimental scientists. If you are not getting the response you want, you have to try a different tactic.
POST INSPIRATION: DAILY PROMPT
I often use these prompts to spark my posts. They work to improve critical thinking – the heart of emotional intelligence. You can think about the prompts as stated or use them to spark other thoughts which is what I usually do. If I put on my thinking cap the prompts can be related to Emotional Fitness. Here’s how I did that for this post.
Any handcrafted gift says time was taken. Moreover, being creative keeps you emotionally strong.
All the handouts and poster coaches for this course are being posted at the store so you can download them for free.
Apologies if you cannot find one. I am a Jill of all in this business, so some things take longer than others. If something used here isn’t posted yet, you will find lots of other offerings including inspirational quotes or more EFTI exercises. In time all will be posted.
LINKS OF INTEREST
- Giving Feedback (mindtools.com)
- Punishment: the good and the bad (psychology.about.com)
- Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
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Thank you and work at staying strong until next time,. I work hard to do the same as life is often difficult but staying strong lets me find the good.