The more we understand about feeling clues, the more we can spot when a feeling first visitsm the easier it is to stay in control. People are feeling clues.

List of feelings

This session is about people as feeling clues.  Who joins with a mad, bad, or sad feeling to urge  you to do what the feeling wants?

"Mother is only critical to make me more perfect."


Go back to the last session and think again about your self-talk voices.  Which ones belong  to a particular person either alive now or from your past.

Then, review your description of the incident you are using to work through the various exercises.  Do it in your mind if you must, but hopefully, you wrote your description down. Either way, was someone actually there and  only a voice in  your head.  After you figure that out, figure out what each person’s role was.

Here it helps a bit to think the way the Transactional Analysis Pros think.  How is that?  They see each person as being made up of five “ego states,”  Two parents, one adult (the computer voice of reason) and two children.

Tranactional analysis Parent, Adult, Child

As you can imagine each of these characters speaks with a different voice and urges a different action; each is also a feeling clue.

Hopefully, you took pencil in hand and used last session’s handout to figure out what how you talked to yourself when dealing with the behavior in question. If you didn’t, think about doing so now.  The nice thing about taking a course like this is you can go back and revisit a session time and time again.

Didn’t take pencil to paper, still don’t want that is really okay and it might be enough to give you the power you want over any and all feelings bothering  you.

The task now is to realize which of the voices in your head are a critical parent, a nurturing parent, the voice of reason, your adapted child, the one who goes along to get along, or you  free child that does what s/he wants without thought to the consequences.

Here’s is something more to think about. All five of these voices have merit. We will talk about that later, but for now just learn to think of them as feeling clues you need to know and recognize.

Next up. A few more feeling clues and a handout to help organise them.  Also now is a good time to point out that course sessions will be posted Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday.

As always thank you for all you do including liking, commenting, or sharing.




These prompts can be used to improve your critical thinking which is the heart of emotional intelligence.  You can think about them as they are stated or use them to spark other thoughts which is what I usually do. Most can be related to Emotional Fitness. How? Well here is the prompt that connects to this post. I’ll answer it and tell you how I relate it to Emotional Fitness.

Sweeping Motions  What’s messier right now — your bedroom or you computer’s desktop (or your favorite device’s home screen)? Tell us how and why it got to that state.

My desk. Why? Any number of reasons.  It is where I collect all I want to share;  after 76 and a half years of living the accumulation is huge.  Then I am a bit ADHD and one expert says those with that label are always organizing, but never quite organized. That’s me.  The Jewish High Holidays have meant ten days when I don’t turn on my computer, so more stuff waits.  Finally, I have family and friends and they are a priority as is laughing and playing.

How this relates to emotional fitness and today’s post. If I was not aware of feeeling clues, particularly my self-talk, I could beat up on myself for being messy. I could make perfectionism a goal, but that is a goal that is not only mostly un-necessary but wastes precious time. One of the professional gurus who form a part of my self-talk gave me this motto “Good enough is good enough.”

Think about that.


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Thank you and stay strong.

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