You have been learning mostly about bodily feeling clues. Time to learn about the next most important feelings clue – your self-talk.

C'mom on inner peace, I don't have all day.

Her mouth suggests serenity has not yet arrived.  How? The corners are turned down. Her self-talk is the bigger clue, however.

Take this thought to heart: Guessing is all one can do when it comes to knowing another person’s feelings.  Feeling awareness is complicated enough applied to yourself. Thinking you know what another is feelings is more than complicated, it is dangerous. Even if the person  proclaims a feeling from the top of Mt. Everest,  you still cannot know exactly what s/he is feeling.  S/he may not know’ moreover, if trying to be nice, seeking to sell you something,  or wanting to avoid conflict s/he may not be truthful.

That does not mean, you cannot apply what you are learning about feeling awareness to others, it just means to be a bit of a Doubting Thomasina or Thinking Thomas.  Finally, the more tools you have when it comes to understanding your feelings and those of others, the closer you get to what might be the feeling of the moment.

As Alfred Korzybski pointed out,  “The map is not the territory.

From this comes the idea that the more views of the territory, the more accurate the map “Might be.”  “Might be”  remains the key phrase. Which is why the you need to be a Feeling Detective and know as many feeling clues as possible. Each clue is a different view of the feeling.


Whether you put pen to paper, hopefully at least you picked a feeling to work on and  thought a bit about that feeling.  Those of you looking for certification of either the course completion or as an Emotional Fitness Trainer, one of the questions will ask you for the paragraph describing the feeling you  intend to work on as the court progresses.


The things we say to ourselves reveal our feelings. Remember what you told yourself the last time something good happened to you:  “I deserve this.”   “Life is good. ” “I’m great.”   “Fantastic.”  “Thumbs up.”  “Fod loves me.”

Now remember  the last time something bad happened.  What did you tell yourself then? “Why me?”   “Life sucks.”  “There is no God.”    “Failed again. ”  “Not fair.”  ” Stupid.”  “Can’t take this.” Someone’s out to get me.”

All self talk both starts in a bodily arousal and is a feeling clue. Often the feeling clue determines the name that eventually gets attached to the arousal. 

Do another  feeling review and look for your self talk. Use this feeling review chart as an a guide after noting the feeling add what you said to yourself about what was happening.


Remember to take a few minutes to debrief and think about what the exercise meant to you. If you have been a bit diligent about the course, your feeling awareness should be improving.

Next up. A few more feeling clues and a handout that summarizes the information about feeling clues. 

As always thank you for all you do including liking, commenting, or sharing.




Twenty-Five Seven Good news — another hour has just been added to every 24-hour day (don’t ask us how. We have powers). How do you use those extra sixty minutes?

My answer?  Nothing different. I bit more time to do as I want.  I am content with how I spend my days.  Are you?  If not you definitely need my course.


Go to the EFTI store and browse its offerings for inspirational quotes or exercises. Go there and subscribe to be notified of new additions.


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Thank you and stay strong.


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