Asking another to change is asking to win the lottery. Here are some ways to increase the odds in your favor.
Think this is a long and complicated process? It is. How easily do you change a habit or the way you do things. Change is difficult for most people. This might be a good time to learn and remember the revised Serenity Prayer.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it’s me.
When you are asking another for change and it becomes clear that person either cannot or will not change (often different sides of the same coin), you then need to think about your choices in terms of the relationship. Change may not be possible, can you live with things the way they are?
Because children’s survival depends on pleasing parents a child often changes as parents want. Not always, however as the terrible twos and terrifying threes show. Still parents are charged with civilizing children: four rules matters and cover most things.
- Keeping everyone safe.
- Respecting others – manners matter.
- Respecting property.
- Respecting reasonable laws.
The first needs enforcing when the child starts crawling and walk. The second and third are best taught from three to six. Reasonable laws are best taught along with safety. “The law says stop when the light is red, that keeps everyone safe.”
When the teens are entered, the time has arrived to discuss what is a reasonable law and reasonable ways to go about seeking change. And here is another revised Serenity Prayer, for parents of some teens.
God, grant me the serenity to accept that the only difference between teens and psychopaths is that most teens eventually change. The courage to smile around gritted teeth and ground the offender. And the wisdom not to smother anyone in their sleep no matter how tempting.
POST INSPIRATION: DAILY PROMPT
I often use these prompts to spark my posts. They work to improve critical thinking – the heart of emotional intelligence. You can think about the prompts as stated or use them to spark other thoughts which is what I usually do. If I put on my thinking cap the prompts can be related to Emotional Fitness. Here’s how I did that for this post.
An endless money box. Not because I put money above everything else. But because for the most part I have everything else. Does not related to today’s post. Live goes on.
All the handouts and poster coaches for this course are being posted at the store so you can download them for free.
Apologies if you cannot find one. I am a Jill of all in this business, so some things take longer than others. If something used here isn’t posted yet, you will find lots of other offerings including inspirational quotes or more EFTI exercises. In time all will be posted.
LINKS OF INTEREST
- Giving Feedback (mindtools.com)
- Punishment: the good and the bad (psychology.about.com)
- Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
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Thank you and work at staying strong until next time,. I work hard to do the same as life is often difficult but staying strong lets me find the good.