The sages and researchers know keeping a burning ember in your heart, hurts you the most. Day ten of EFT’s Holiday De-stressing gift to all.
Forgiveness is easiest when we accept that every person does the best they can with what they have been given. Personal bests vary according to many things, including time, stress, past experiences, cultural expectations which include the voices of authority from parents, teachers, religions, and a various gurus including media stars.
When a personal best leads to physically harming another getting safe comes first. You need to be safe from harm to practice forgiveness. You also need to stay safe which is why forgiveness does not involve forgetting or staying around people who physically harm you.
Parenting tip one: Help your child learn to rate hurts. Why? When someone hurts us, the need to forgive visits with the hurt. The younger the child, the more every hurt is like every other hurt – not real.
Start teaching rating early on. How? When the child cries uncontrollable label as you are comforting him or her say “Big hurt.” As the crying slows, say “Smaller hurt” or ” Hurting less now.”
Next step: ask when crying is not uncontrollable, “Big or small hurt?” Accept the child’s answer, and use a gesture to show the biggest hurt and your idea of this hurts rating.
Using some judgement, deal with small hurts by saying”Small hurt, get up and go on.”
Parenting tip two: Teach that name calling is a small hurt and best ignored. Political correctness along with the wish to keep kids eternally happy has turned words into arrows. Not that words cannot hurt, but they are not the same as a punch in the stomach or a broken bone.
However, there is merit in the old saying “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” Name calling and other nasty words only hurt if we let them into our heart. Strong self soothing skills keep words from hurting us.
Parenting tip three: Admit your weaknesses and mistakes. Apologise when those mistakes hurt your child. Make your apology a good one and teach your child to apologize. Here’s a poster coach that spells out the art of apologizing.
Parenting tip four: Make sure your child learns strong self-defense skills. Being able to defend yourself boosts self-confidence and that is a shield against letting hurt into your heart. Peace Dojos teach conflict resolution and karate – good for all the family to learn.
BE KIND TO ME
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Thank you and work at staying strong until next time,. I work hard to do the same as life is often difficult but staying strong lets me find the good.
LINKS OF INTEREST
- The Value of Forgiveness (Mayo Clinic)
- How to Forgive (wikihow.com)
- Teaching Children to Forgive (wiadopt.orf)
- Daily Post (wordpress.com)
All the handouts and poster coaches for this course are being posted at the store so you can download them for free. A poster coach is like a face-to-face coach; all serve as practice reminders, some teach you the exercises needed to stay strong.
To use one, after down loading it from the store, print it up preferably in cardstock and color, then post it where you will see it as you go about your day.
Apologies if you cannot find one. I am a Jill of all in this business, so some things take longer than others. If something used here isn’t posted yet, you will find lots of other offerings including inspirational quotes or more EFTI exercises. In time all will be posted.
DAILY PROMPT To Be Resolved We’re entering the final days of 2014 — how did you do on your New Year’s resolutions these past 11.75 months? Is there any leftover item to be carried over to 2015? Yes, lots of left overs on my resolution list. Read on.
How this fits in with today’s EFTI Post: Resolve to practice at least one of the Easy Daily Exercises. Your life will improve. Mine has.
But I have another resolution. EFTI will probably be buried with me and I wish I had done better selling it. A bit more money would have made it a viable business that could live on. That said I am going to work harder to get more products out there. I think in-print books are the best option, so that is what I will spend the next year working on and promoting.
I am also still trying to find a some legacy keepers or investors who will work to keep it going for at least a few more years. Interested?