Work has acquired almost as nasty a reputation as the F— Word,and even that word has less angst attached. The angst of having to work is particularly strong among those emerging from childhood into the everyday world of work; sad, not necessary, and adding to the idea that work is something to avoid.
I am not suggesting happiness lies in a job. Quite the opposite. Happiness lies in you and your attitudes. Blessed are they who have a job they love. Also blessed are they who know a job is what you get paid to do. Most blessed are those who their happiness is their responsibility at work or play. These are the one who make work a happy place.
How can you find happiness at work? These Emotional Intelligence strengthening tips will help.
Tip One: Get real about what you expect from work. Jobs exist because people have to be paid to do them. The nastier and the more demeaning the job the higher the pay, well at least some of the time. Garbage collectors are a good example, at least in wealthier countries. Looked down upon but, now unionized and well paid.
And even the jobs that provide the most value in terms of pay, glory, or happiness come with hateful, “you have to pay me to do that stuff”. Think of high paid professional football players or boxers who get pummeled at every game and often end up in later life with brain damage. Think of the celebrity movie stars who cannot go anywhere without body guards. You could not pay me to do their jobs. At a smaller level think of things like the paper work doctors and nurses hate but have to do. Think of teachers with piles of tests to mark.
Tip Two: Edit your self talk about work. The things we say to ourselves shape our attitudes and the shape of our attitudes determine how happy we are. If you wake up moaning and groaning about having to work you are setting yourself up to moan and groan at work and come home disgruntled and unhappy.
I am not asking you to wake up singing “Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, its off to work we go.” You are not one of Snow White’s Seven Dwarfs. But with a bit of effort, you can think set aside negative self talk and replace it. “Now is not forever” works better than “I hate this job.”
Tip Three: The more you can focus on the good stuff when at work the better.
Here are three good things to remember as you sling the big Macs. These work best for the young, but apply to almost any age.
- Any job is an apprenticeship in the work world.
- Any job offers practice opportunities for honing people skills. People skills are what get you ahead in life.
- One job well done gets you a leg up on the next job.
Tip Four: Make your work place a kinder, happier place by your acts of kindness.
Tip Five: Know your life’s mission then set goals. Steven Covey, author of the best-selling book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People promotes the need to have a life mission in order to connect with “…your own unique purpose and the profound satisfaction that comes from fulfilling it.
When the Dalai Lama sets forth a life mission when he says, “If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them.”
Both the sages of the ages and the modern-day researchers agree with the Dalai Lama, the healthiest life mission is to be a force for good.
Us older folk find comfort in having kindness as our mission. Harder for the young, who tend to focus on short-term goals, but important for all. But goals matter and once you know your mission you can better set your goals.
Unclear about either your mission or your goals? Buy my eBook Know Your Mission So You Can Reach Your Goals. As with most of my books, it costs less than a latte and is more nourishing.
Tip Six: Strengthen your self-soothing skills. All of the above requires strong self-soothing skills. My 12 Daily Emotional Fitness Exercises are research based and easy to practice self-soothing exercises. New to this idea or this blog? Go here for an introduction to the 12 Daily Exercises.
Thank you and stay strong: Practice Kindness right now by liking, commenting, or sharing this and other EFT posts, free downloads, or other products.
Links of Interest
Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
- The five components of emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)
- An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents (amazon.com)
- Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises.
Disclaimer one: Emotional Fitness Training is not therapy. Even the most learned researchers and therapists quarrel about much. Take their advice and mine carefully. Don’t just listen to your heart, but also think; don’t just think, listen to your heart. Heart and head working together increase the odds you will find useful advice amid all the promises and hopes pushed at you be others. As others have noted, take what seems useful, leave the rest. Disclaimer two: Forgive my grammatical errors If you need perfect posts, you will not find them here; I will understand if you don’t follow, like or share what like me. Not only am I dealing with an aging brain, but all of my life I have been plagued by dysgraphia–a learning disability, Some of my posts might be peppered with bad spelling, poor punctuation, and worse words that make no sense. If you want to hang in with me, thank you; you are kind. If a post doesn’t make sense or bugs you too much, stop reading, I will understand.