Six Tips to Keep Your Point of View From Twisting Your Thinking

We view the world from our unique point of view. Emotional Intelligence requires challenging not just other views, but ours.

Point of view determines beliefs.

Who did you vote for in the last election? Still defending your choice and planning on voting the same way next election? Researchers know the odds  are you vote the same.  Challenging the past decisions creates cognitive dissonance aka anxiety, at least according to social psychologist Leon Festinger.

Two of his quotes to think about:

A MAN WITH A CONVICTION is a hard man to change. Tell him you disagree and he turns away. Show him facts or figures and he questions your sources. Appeal to logic and he fails to see your point.

When dissonance is present, in addition to trying to reduce it, the person will actively avoid situations and information which would likely increase the dissonance.

Festinger’s book Theory of Cognitive Dissonance is the number one book, in my opinion, all should read to better understand all people’s thoughts and behavior. That said, the two quotes above summarize its essence.


Tip One: The more passionately you believe in something, the more you will profit by looking for points of agreement.

Tip Two: The more you argue your point of view, the more you harden it and harden your opponents point of view

Tip Three: Rather than thinking Either/Or  try  thinking Yes/And.

Tip Four: When you find some point of agreement just saying  “And” instead of arguing often leads to more agreement.

Tip Five: When you disagree, saying “And” might  lead to the other person eventually saying something you can agree with.

Tip Six: As always say what you mean, but don’t say it mean. That requires staying calm, cool and collected. My eBook Self-soothing to Create Calm in Your Life helps you stay calm when others are not.


Thank you for all you do. Thank me by remembering sharing is caring; so is liking, or commenting. Your caring keeps me going.


This WordPress Daily Prompt suggested: Ripped Into the Headline –  Write about something that happened over the weekend as though it’s the top story on your local paper.

Well, there are a lot of stories about not winning the billion dollar lottery. Which relates to my rating of the possibility of reaching my goal. Sigh, but I am going to keep buying a lottery ticket every week. I will also keep working on making EFTI more viable but more for the pleasure it gives than for the money I might make.



These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (
The five components of Emotional Intelligence ( Intelligence ( Fitness Tips for Parents (
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(

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