Think what you buy, how you look, how smart you are, where you live, or the kind of work you do matters? Think again.  The Sages of the Ages know better.

What matters? Kindness to all.

This Poster Coach is available as a free download at the EFTI Store. If this is your first visit to this Free 101 Emotional Fitness Course, go here to catch up.

All the research agrees with these sages. What matters in the long run are caring relationships. Such relationships get created by being kind and generous, forgiving others for their flaws, forgiving yourself for not being perfect, and working together to make the your world and all the world a better place.

Here’s an exercise many find revealing:  Think about being told you have a day to  live. Who will you call? How will you spend your last few hours? What do you hope will be said about you in your obituary or at your funeral?

Find that uncomfortable. Of course. Maybe this will be a bit better.  Think about the date changing to a year from now and asking yourself the same questions.

Still not a happy thought. Understood. So give yourself five more years.  If you are under thirty that might be enough. After all a common motto among the young is “Live fast, die young, and leave a pretty corpse.”

Reality check: The Grime Reaper sets his own schedule and visits when he wants, never when we want. The young die too soon, and the old almost all want a longer life.

How can facing this fact help calm you? By keeping you from  sweating the small stuff and focusing on living the life you have  given with gratitude and kindness; then you can  say when facing death, “I did it my way and the right way.”


The first? Print up a free copy of the Remember What Matters Poster from the  EFTI store.  Post it where you will see it.  Seeing it will remind you to stay focused on what matters.

The second?  When you see the poster, think  for at least a minute or two about your personal life mission. A mission is not about things you want, it is about the kind of person you want to be.

Steven Covey, author of the best-selling book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People says”  “Writing a personal mission statement connects you to your own unique purpose and the profound satisfaction that comes in fulfilling it.”

In time, I will ask you to write a personal mission statement, but now it is enough to think a bit about what you want your life to stand for.

The third? Learn to set SMART goals. As Mark Twain noted, “I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life.  The problem is that I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want.”

SMART goals help you get serious about what you want. If you cannot take the time to set a SMART goal, it says you are not very serious about what you think you want.

How to set SMART Goals

Remember being asked to write a paragraph or two about the feeling bossing you the most and getting you into trouble?  Now is the time to set a SMART GOAL using what you wrote.

If you are not taking the course seriously, just read on. Any time you want to get serious, you just start the course again from the beginning.  For now, keep reading as the information will help you better move toward any goals that are important to you.

 God gives every bird his worm, but he does not throw it into the nest.

                                                                                                                            Swedish Proverb

SMART Setting

Ninety percent of the goals people set are not met.  Not a high success rate.  The ten percent  that are met are the ones the person finds important enough to take seriously.  Taking them seriously, means writing them down, tracking them, and sometimes, getting help from others.  If you are taking the course to get certification or to teach others, you need to do the above.


Session Twelve shows you how to use sloganeering as a tool against negative self-talk.



I often use these prompts to spark my posts.  They can also be used to improve your critical thinking is the heart of emotional intelligence.

You can think about them as they are stated or use them to spark other thoughts which is what I usually do. Most can be related to Emotional Fitness. How? Well here is the prompt that connects to this post. I’ll answer it and tell you how I relate it to Emotional Fitness. Here is the challenge that relates to this post.

Custom Zodiac: You’re tasked with creating a brand new astrological sign for the people born around your birthday — based solely on yourself. What would your new sign be, and how would you describe those who share it?

How this relates to emotional fitness and today’s post? If you are emotionally fit, you STAR in your life meaning you Stop, Think, Act Wisely, and Reap rewards.  So that means your are a STAR Reaper.  And of course, I want everyone to be a STAR Reaper.


All the handouts for this course are being posted at the store so you can download them for free. You will find lots of other  offerings including inspirational quotes or more EFTI exercises. Go there and subscribe to be notified of new additions.


Please rate this material. Doing so helps me ratings.  This is what your stars will mean to me. No stars – Not helpful. One star – Reinforced my knowledge. Two  Stars –  New  information.   Three stars – New useful information; Four stars- Very good.   Five stars – Excellent.

Thank you and stay strong, I have to work at it constantly, but am grateful I have figured out how.



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